I'm Eighteen, Officer, I Swear
by Teenage.Anomaly
Summary: The battle is over, but the fun has just begun. She's still loud, she's still perverted, and now, she's packing firepower and working for the United States military. This can't end well. Set between movies. Second in the 'Katty' series.
1. NEST

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir**_** by Teenage Anomaly**

**Summary:**** After spending a week at a base with the other survivors and the Autobots, Katty Sherman's life has not only been flipped upside down, but turned inside out as well, and she's loving it. She's just as loud and crazy as she's always been, and now, to put the icing on the cake, she's packing firepower and working for the United States military. This can not end well for the universe as a whole. Begins the day of the battle ast Mission city. VERY SLIGHT Simmons/OC/Lennox, MAYBE OC/Bumblebee later, Sam/Mikaela, canon pairings, Jazz, Prime, Keller and Ratchet centric.**

**Rating: T for language, Katty's pervy mind, innuendos and sexual situations.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, any quotes or characters or the songs featured at the beginning of each chapter. Katty and her family/friends are owned by themselves and God. I own this story. THIS IS THE DISCLAIMER FOR ALL FOLLOWING CHAPTERS.

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**_I'm a spy in the house of love  
I know the dream that you're dreaming of  
I know the word that you long to hear  
I know your deepest secret fear  
I'm a spy in the house of love_

**Chapter One: NEST**

**A Few Days Previously**

I drummed my fingers impatiently on the table in front of me, my eyes darting around the steel, warehouse-like room, annoyed. We'd won the war today, Megatron was destroyed and humanity was safe (for now, at least) and everyone with direct involvement was sitting in a room, the Autobots sitting on the floor around the table, and the humans sitting at the table, some of us talking and some, like me, staring stonily into space. We were about to be "debriefed" apparently, but we'd been sitting in the room for fifteen minutes and no one had showed up _to_ debrief us. I was getting very annoyed. My stomach was growling and my eyes were beginning to close of their own accord. I needed sleep, preferably sooner rather than later.

Expelling a loud, slightly over-dramatic sigh, I laid my head down on the table with a thud. Ratchet, who was sitting behind me, was just as impatient as I was, if not more, because he'd already started piecing Jazz's broken body back together, and I got the feeling he hated leaving his old friend in two pieces when he could be working on him.

There were maybe sixteen humans in the room, including me, and the four Autobots. We were waiting for Secretary Keller to come tell us how it was gonna go down from here on out. We were all tense and worried and just wanted to go home. Lennox was anxious to get back to him baby girl and wife, Epps had a fiancé waiting for him, Simmons just hated sitting still, Sam and Mikaela didn't want to miss school and raise questions and Ron and Judy just wanted to get the hell out of here. Judy kept glancing at the Autobots, a skittish look on her face. Ironhide stared back at her, one leg propped up, amused.

"Oh my _god_," I groaned into the table, my cheek smushed against the smooth surface, glasses askew.

"Tired, kiddo?" asked Lennox, a laugh in his voice, from across the table. I twisted my neck to look at him, face still on the table, and nodded. He was grinning, his eyes crinkled up happily.

"Running from thirty foot tall metal monsters really takes it outta you," I slurred, exhausted. "Plus I got maybe four hours a' sleep las' night."

" 'S more than we got," said Sam teasingly. "I mean, with you snoring-"

Everyone laughed and I snorted. "Whatever. I do not snore."

"_Liar, liar, you're a great big liar,"_ sang Bee. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Aw, c'mon, Bee, you too?"

At that moment a door swung open and a stressed out John Keller strode into the room, slapping a folder down on the podium. His mere presence commanded silence, and tension rolled off of him in waves. He wasn't happy about something.

"Gentlemen," he began, and then glanced up at Mikaela, Judy and I, and added, "ladies. Over the past twenty-four hours you have all shown extraordinary bravery in the face of this crisis. For that, I thank you. The President," he hesitated, an odd, somehow displeased look on his round, wrinkled face, "the President has ordered Sector Seven to be disbanded-"

"Wh_at_?" said Simmons loudly as Banachek simply closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. Keller continued.

"- and the remains of the Robots to be dropped into the Laurentian Abyss."

Ratchet raised his metal hand and Keller nodded at him. "Yes, we know about your friend. Also, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask all of you to sign a non-disclosure agreement. This agreement stipulates that no one can be told of what has happened- no one at all."

I'd have to keep _this_ a secret from my parents? Yeah, right.

"_Why_ is the President closing us down?" asked Simmons loudly, his eyes burning in his face. Keller looked up to him, and suddenly he wasn't talking to us as the Secretary of Defense, he was talking to us as our comrade-in-arms; talking to us as people he'd survived hell with. He stepped out from behind the podium, moving quickly, his face frustrated, but not at us.

"Simmons, I disagreed with him. I fought with him on this- but he insisted- said it was wasting taxpayer's money now that it's unneeded-"

"Un_needed_?" I was the one to interrupt this time, sitting up a little straighter, my eyes flashing, my words loud. Most heads turned to me when they detected the anger in my voice. "Gee, big damn Robots with the power t' kill all of us, that _is_ a huge waste of money-"

"Miss Sherman, I'm just the messenger. As I said, I tried to change his decision, but he was adamant."

Glowering, I crossed my arms across my chest and sank back in the chair, my butt sliding forward.

"Easy," said Lennox quietly, glancing at me briefly, though his own fingers were drumming angry tattoos on the wood of the table. Several seats down the table from me, Simmons was fuming, his eyes burning holes in Keller's podium, and Banachek simply had a pained look on his face.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to keep you all here for a few days," continued Keller.

"Keep us here?" growled Ironhide, cannons whirring. Keller simply looked to him.

"Yes sir, keep you here. And _those_," he gestured to the cannons, "those don't frighten me, so if you could put them away, please."

Ironhide blinked as I twisted around in my chair, grinning, to regard the large black bot. The cannons dimmed as he regarded Keller with a newfound respect.

"We'll have to run some tests- with your permission, of course," he said, nodding at the Autobots, who nodded back. "And we'll need to check the rest of you for any radiation or any effects from time spent in the presence of the robots."

"You think we could be harmful to humans?" asked Optimus. I looked up. He was staring up at Keller, his face almost regretful.

"We don't know," said Keller. "And it's what we're gonna find out."

"And just who's gonna find out?" asked Simmons, shaking his head. "Your, uh, your military scientists? They don't know half the shit we know about them!" He pointed a steady finger at the bots. Keller said nothing. "Sir, the President is making a mistake. What if those big ole monsters come back, eh? An' I trust_ them_," he gestured wildly around at the Autobots, "but what if they decide they don't trust us? What then, huh?"

"I'm sorry, Simmons," said Keller quietly. "But the decision has been made-"

"You don't get to say 'sorry'!" shouted Simmons, his eyes slightly crazed, rising to his feet, fingertips of one hand still on the table, the other hand pointing vigorously at Keller. "Not after everything that you people have put us through! You don't just make a decision to cut us off!"

"I'm sorry," said Keller again. Simmons glowered at him before straightening up.

"Fine. You know what?" He threw his hands in the air. "Fine. When it all goes to shit, _don't_ call me."

He turned to stride out of the room, pushing the chair away from him with a clatter. I watched, wide eyed.

"Simmons-" called Keller. Simmons stopped, a hand on the door, but didn't turn, his back tensing. "You don't get to leave yet, Simmons."

After a moment, Simmons strode out of the door, slamming it shut behind him.

I whistled lowly, turning back to the table in front of me. "Well, that went well."

"Actually, it went quite poorly," said Ratchet, and Ironhide elbowed him in the side. "It was a joke, bolt-head."

"Hide, Ratchet," said Prime, and they immediately settled down, but I twisted around in my seat and winked at both of them, grinning.

"Now," said Keller, shuffling some papers, "I need to ask everyone to leave except for you, Captain Lennox, Sergeant Epps, your team, Miss Madsen, Glen, you, Mr. Banachek, and of course the robots- and Miss Sherman."

"So," Lennox clarified, grinning, "everyone should stay except for Mikaela, Sam and his parents."

"Why?" asked Sam. "What's going on?"

"Whatever it is, I swear I didn't do it," I said automatically, my eyes widening. A ripple of laughter ran around the room.

"Please," said Keller, and Sam, his parents, and Mikaela rose slowly to their feet, Sam and Mikaela giving me worried glances. I gave them the thumbs up and a wide grin. I thought I knew what this was about.

Once the door closed behind them, Keller sighed, pulling out a chair at the head of the table and collapsing into it, massaging his temples as he spoke. The poor guy had to be exhausted. "I wasn't entirely truthful when I said Sector Seven was being destroyed. S-Seven was a division of the government set aside for research, am I right, Tom?"

Banachek nodded slowly. "Yes, sir."

"Well, we don't have much more need for research now that we have you four." He pointed at the Autobots. "What we need- what we need now is a_ team_, a special team dedicated to finding and eradicating robotic threats."

I was right.

Keller looked intensely around at all of us, and we all stared back at him. "You people are to be the core of that team."

"Score!" I shouted, pumping a fist in the air, and every head swiveled to me, Keller's eyebrows furrowing slightly. I turned red.

"Uh, sorry, sir. I'm just… very excitable."

Epps snorted into his water-bottle.

"Yes, I can see that," said Keller, but he sounded amused.

"Why- why us, sir?" asked Maggie, her eyebrows pulling up in the middle. Keller leaned against the podium.

"This is not going to be an ordinary team, Miss Madsen. We're going to have men in the field all over the planet, and we're going to have a base of operations in Washington- NEST. Our large friends here," he nodded at the Bots, "are going to help us find any robotic threats and weed them out."

"I- I thought they were gone, though," she said. "The Decepticons."

"Some of them are," rumbled Optimus, causing Maggie to swivel in her seat to stare at him. "But Barricade and Starscream both survived, and there are many legions of them scattered across the galaxy. If called for- they could be here in a matter of days."

There was a very tense silence.

"Are there any more of _you_?" asked Lennox, and Ratchet was the one who replied.

"Yes," he said. "Many. The trouble is finding them- and, with your government's permission, we will be sending a transmission welcoming them to Earth, to join this team."

Lennox nodded, slowly, before turning back to Keller. "And you want us on the team because we've fought these bastards, right?"

"Fought _with_ us, too," growled Ironhide. Keller nodded.

"That's right, soldier."

"And if we refuse?" he asked quietly. Keller sighed.

"That's your right, of course."

Lennox nodded, slowly, then said, "All right. I'm in."

"Hell, me too," said Epps, sighing, slapping his hand on the table. The rest of the soldiers slowly announced that they, too, would join the team.

"C'mon, Maggie," pled Glen, clasping his hands together as though in prayer as he turned to his pretty blonde friend. "Please, please, Maggie, please-"

She sighed, rolling her pretty eyes and repressing a smile. "All right," she said, a grin spreading across her face. "We're in too- but only as a team. Glen and I stay together."

Keller nodded. "That can be arranged." He turned to. "You have extensive experience with these aliens. We want you to be the head of intelligence- Lennox, here, is going to lead the men in the field. Is that acceptable?"

Tom nodded. "More than so, sir."

"What about Simmons?" I asked loudly. "He's good in the field, too-"

"He's a little, unstable," Keller said simply, before turning to Optimus. I frowned.

"And you? What do you all think?"

"We will be honored to work with these brave men and women," growled Optimus. "Although I must inform you that Bumblebee-" he nodded at the yellow bot, "- will be joining the Witwicky family as their _car_." His voice almost broke into laughter on the last word, and Bee nodded vigorously, humming happily.

"Yes, but you're going to bring the small, silver one back, right?"

"Jazz," corrected Ratchet. "And yes, it appears that he will be rejoining us in a few days."

"Good," said Keller, a note of finality in his voice. "Well, gentlemen, ladies, I'll have more information for you before the end of the week we'll all be held here-"

"Wait a second," I said, slowly, thinking heavily. Keller stopped talking and turned to me, eyes narrowing.

"Miss Sherman?"

Every head in the room, metallic and human, swiveled to me. I stared up at Keller, my eyebrows furrowed, my leg twitching under the table, bouncing against the chair.

"What about me?" I asked. "I mean, I'm flattered, but, let's be honest, I'm a teenager. I'm not a hacker, or-or a soldier, or an enormous robot… I mean, really, there's nothing all that special about me-"

"Except for the fact that you got up in the face of one of the deadliest of those robots and laughed in it," said Lennox, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but so did Sam-"

"With all respect to Sam," said Optimus gently, in his rumbling voice, "he never would have been able to do what he did without you. You gave him the chance to push the Cube into my brother's chest."

"When I told Sam what he had to do," said Lennox quietly, "he didn't want to. He was terrified, understandably so. But you didn't even blink. Kid, you were born for this."

I stared around at all of them, at Lennox's smiling, gorgeous face, at the grandfatherly Keller, at Prime, Maggie, and then, finally, I felt a grin spread across my face. I smacked the table.

"_Hell_ yes, I'm in. Ow."

"Very well," said Keller. "We'll all be here for one week, so we should probably sleep while we can. The man outside will give you directions to rooms and a change of clothes."

I rose to my feet at the same time as Ratchet did, behind me.

"I'm going to go work on Jazz," he rumbled to Optimus, before turning to give Keller a salute, and the Autobots strode out of the room through an opened wall at the back.

Lennox was waiting for me, outside of the conference room.

"Our rooms are next to each other," he said, grinning a little. "Want me to walk you there?"

"I'd love it," I said smugly, taking his offered arm jokingly, and we set off down the hallway.

**TBC...

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**

"The Spy" by the Doors

A/N: I can't help myself; I just can't stay away from this story. It's so much fun to write! It kind of just.... pours out. Alright, this is going to be different from the first story in that there's not really going to be much of a plot. There will be one, but since the story spans over the course of the two years between the first movie and the second one, it's mostly going to be a bunch of collected, chronological one-shots. This story is for the lulz and for my dear friend, Katty Noir. Go bug her about finished her chronicles of Riddick story. And, boy, there's gonna be much more sexual tension, especially from the time they're all in the base :) THE CRAP, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN.

Love,

Sarah.

PS. I'm leaving the country in eight days, so I'll post chapters up till then and continue when I get back. (review) I love you people.


	2. Thou Givest Fever

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir **_**by Teenage Anomaly  
**_**

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**_

_Ev'rybody's got the fever  
that is something you all know  
Fever isn't such a new thing  
Fever started long ago_

_Romeo loved Juliet  
Juliet she felt the same  
When he put his arms around her  
He said 'Julie, baby, you're my flame  
Thou giv-est fever when we kisseth  
Fever with thy flaming youth  
Fever I'm on fire  
Fever yea I burn for sooth'_

_Now you've listened to my story  
Here's the point that I have made  
Chicks, we're gonna give you fever  
Be it Fahrenheit or centigrade  
Then we give you the fever when we kiss you  
Fever if you live and learn  
Fever till you sizzle  
What a lovely way to burn_

**Chapter Two: Thou Givest Fever**

It was two in the morning, and I couldn't sleep. I'd woken up about fifteen minutes ago to find that slumber was now successfully evading me.

"Well, dangit," I sighed, tossing the blue covers back and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I pulled my bra on, along with a pair of sweat-pants Keller had provided. They said "Property of the USA" on the back, and I found that quite hysterical. I was very proud to be owned by the United States of America.

Yawning, scratching my head and barefooted, I pushed my door open and made my way out into the dimly lit, tiled hallway. I figured I'd go down to the Medical Bay, hang out with the bots until I got tired again, maybe help Ratch out with Jazz. On the way, I passed by the kitchen and, hearing noises from inside, stuck my head inside the cracked door to see Simmons, his chin in the crook of his arm, resting on the table, grasping a bottle of something that was probably alcoholic.

"Dude, is there any more of that?" I asked, pushing the steel door open and all but running over to the refrigerator. The door swung shut behind me, sending the room into almost complete darkness. There was just enough light for me to not trip over my own feet, and I saw the outline of Simmons leaning against the table.

"Aren't you a little young t' be drinking?" he asked, propping his head on its side so he could watch me as I yanked open the fridge door. Light spilled into the dark room, making me blink for a moment as I bent over, examining the contents of the fridge. There was beer, more beer, wine coolers, ale, beer-

Simmons was probably checking out my butt right now.

I grabbed a cooler and shut the door with a quiet click, before turning and sitting across from Simmons at the table.

"Where's the bottle opener?"

He gestured loosely with the bottle and I rose to my feet, opening the drawer he'd indicated and pulling out the spindly little instrument.

"Gotcha."

I plopped back down and yanked the cap off of the bottle. He watched me, half of his face hidden by his arm.

"Cheers," I said, tilting the bottle at him, before throwing my head back and gulping down a bit of it.

"Ahh," I breathed, smacking my lips. "That is _good_."

"You… are a weird kid," he said, his head moving up and down as he spoke, his chin still planted on the table but his eyes looking up at me. I grinned at him.

"That's exactly why you love me."

He straightened up, taking a swig out of his own bottle. English ale. The man had taste.

"That stuff's good too," I said, nodding at it. He just raised an eyebrow, looking from the drink clutched in his hand to me and back again.

"My dad loves ale," I said, by way of explanation, running my finger around the rim of my cooler. "And he lets me drink it sometimes."

"That explains so much," he said wryly. I winked at him.

"Why are you drinking?" I asked after a few silent seconds.

"Because I lost my job," he said flatly, and I winced.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, him nursing his ale, slouched over the table, one arm outstretched across it, and me sipping at my cooler, slouched low in my chair, a foot propped up on the table, my knee bent as my toes curled over the edge of the wooden table.

"That… is unsanitary, y'know," said Simmons, lazily pointing a finger at my foot. "People eat on this, after all."

"Dude, people do a lot worse things on tables," I said, wriggling my toes.

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice half a challenge as he looked up at me. "Explain that, baby girl."

I giggled into my cooler. "Honey, you sure you want me to explain this?"

He stared at me for a minute, before that incredulous, disgusted look crossed his face. "You are the most perverted girl I've _ever_ met, I swear-"

"Hey, you asked."

We didn't say anything for a few more minutes before a wicked grin spread over my face. He groaned, closing his eyes.

"Oh, _god_-"

"Want me to show you?"

"Kid, I'm old enough to be your _dad._ Or that weird uncle that always brings you crappy presents-"

"- and tells great stories about giant robots?" I finished, grinning. He just closed his eyes and shook his head tiredly. "C'mon, Reggie, haven't you ever wanted to get it on with a younger girl?" I teased, and his eyes snapped open.

"_Not_ enough to go to jail for it."

"Ooh, so you _have_ wanted to?"

He closed his eyes, burying his face in the crook of his arm again. "Go away, jailbait. Go find some other poor middle-aged man to tempt."

I cackled delightedly, swinging my feet off of the table and swigging down the last of my cooler. "As you wish, Reg."

I left the bottle on the table and patted his slumped shoulders on my way out, feeling the definition of his muscles through his thin T-shirt- I couldn't tell what color it was in the dark.

-

As the door swung close behind her, Simmons relaxed, exhaling as he turned to look at the door, shaking his head. The smell of her, the smell of youth and life and clean sheets and gardenias, a scent that could drive a more controlled man than he wild, swirled around the air, her lingering, laughing presence over-powering.

"Goddamn teenage, female criminals…"

He let his forehead fall onto the table with a loud "thud."

"I'm gonna have a heart attack."

-

I made my way down to the medical bay, grinning widely, now a little tipsy. It was official; I had a full-blown crush on Simmons. I didn't know what it was about him that set my skin on fire just from being near him, but… _lord_. Something had to be done about this. I was still tingling.

I mean, I thought as I made my way to the medical bay, Lennox was attractive too, but the men were both super gorgeous in completely different ways. Lennox was gorgeous in that "come here and hug me so that I can feel your six-pack rubbing up against me" and Simmons was so oddly attractive like "you, me, bedroom, NOW". Plus, I'm a little bit… well, "guy crazy" isn't really the right way to put it, cause it takes a whole lot for me to actually romantically _like_ a guy. More, I am _very_ appreciative of men and their bodies. I'm a bit of an artist, so when I look, I'm half looking as a hormonal teenager and half looking as an artist, studying the way muscles move, how bones join together, the hard angles of male bodies, all that jazz. It was half sexual and half pure, innocent curiosity, if that makes any sense.

The door to the medical bay wasn't so much a door as a garage, so that the Bots could get in. They, of course, just had to lift it up, and there was a pulley for us short little humans- and even by human standards, at 5'1, I was small.

I grabbed the rope and pulled down, neck craning upwards, my hair swinging. My sore arms strained, and the voices from inside the room ceased as the door creaked upwards. Ratchet looked down at me. I grinned at him, tying the rope off so that the door wouldn't fall.

"Hey, Ratch."

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" he asked, not unkindly. I shrugged, coming to a stop next to his foot.

"Couldn't."

"Hey, kiddo!"

Lennox leaned over the side of the table, grinning down at me.

It wasn't a table so much as a metal platform suspended about fifteen feet in the air by chains. Both halves of Jazz's body were on it as Ratchet worked, and I simply guessed that Ratchet had lifted Lennox up there.

The other three Bots were in this room too, Bee and Prime sleeping, and Ironhide was off in the corner doing something fancy with his cannons. I leaned around Ratchet's foot and waved at him.

"Hey, Ironhide!"

He grunted.

"Pay him no mind, young one," said Ratchet, and at that moment, there was a loud sizzle and a small explosion. Lennox shouted.

"What the hell?"

"Well… damn," said Ratchet.

"You need some help?" I asked. He looked down at me.

"Actually, yes."

He bent down and held out a hand, which I eagerly scrambled onto, grabbing his arm-sized forefinger.

"Hold on," he said unnecessarily as he lifted me up. I crawled off of his palm onto the metal platform, shaking my head.

"Man, that's weird."

"Tell me about it," grinned Lennox, extending a hand. I grasped it and pulled myself to my feet.

"What's your excuse?" I asked, gesturing at Ratchet and Jazz. He shrugged, grinning a stunningly gorgeous grin.

"I couldn't sleep either. Still got too much adrenaline."

"Dude, I know! I feel like I'm on overload or something, right now."

He laughed, clapping me on the shoulder. "You'll get used to it."

"You two," commanded Ratchet, his bright eyes flashing up at us. "Come here."

"Yes, sir."

We treaded carefully around the pieces of Jazz's body to Ratchet.

"I need you two to hold these two wires exactly where they are- this is very important. They cannot be moved."

I nodded, and Lennox responded in the affirmative. Ratchet regarded us before a minute before saying, "All right. Let's do this."

-

Lennox and I- he insisted I call him Will, but I couldn't help but think of him as Lennox- helped Ratchet with Jazz for maybe another hour before my eyelids began to droop again. Lennox- Will- laughed at me and said he'd take me back to my room.

Ratchet lowered us to the ground and watched us exit the med bay, a curious look on his face. Will draped an arm around my shoulders.

"You really were amazing today," he said, his voice quiet and a little proud. I looked up at him and grinned, sleepiness taking away some of my cockiness and perverted cheesiness.

"Really?"

"Hell, yeah. I've never seen anyone just rise up to a crisis like you did today- and you a lazy teenager, too," he teased, grinning. I flicked the hand that was dangling off my shoulder. Lennox was like a big brother- a very, very hott big brother. A big brother that I wouldn't half mind making out with-

Okay, not a brother at all. Maybe a close friend of the family.

_Married_, Katty, he's married-

But I found it hard to care.

"It was kind of- reflex-"

"Bull s_hit_," he teased, getting very close to my face. We passed the kitchen and I paused.

"Hey, wait a sec-"

"What's up?" he asked as I cracked open the door. Simmons was sprawled across the table, mouth open, an outstretched hand wrapped loosely around a bottle, sleeping. I felt myself grin as Will poked his head in and laughed.

"C'mon," I said, nodding at the sleeping agent. "Let's get him to his room."

"Do you know where it is?" Will asked as we approached Simmons. I nodded, wrapping one of his arms around my neck, grinning a little.

"Yeah. It's on the other side of _my_ room."

Will stared at me for a minute before bursting into laughter. I shushed him hurriedly, grinning myself, gesturing at Simmons.

"Don't wake him up!"

"Yeah," chuckled Will. "Can you imagine what he'd be like first thing in the morning?"

I repressed a snort.

"Let's just get him out of here."

We dragged him upwards, his head lolling on Will's shoulder. I kicked open the door and we quickly moved out of the dark kitchen and into the lighter hallway.

"Have to say," grunted Will as we carried Simmons, his feet dragging on the floor behind us, "I did not imagine myself to be doing this, a few hours ago."

"Dude, I didn't imagine to be alive, a few hours ago."

He laughed again. I was good at making him laugh. I hitched Simmons' arm up higher on my shoulder, one hand grasping his wrist and the other wrapped around his waist, and he mumbled something in his sleep, something about "big damn robots".

Will and I exchanged a glance before hurriedly trying to stifle our laughter.

Finally, we reached Simmons' room. Will dug in Simmons' pocket for the key to his room and ran it, quickly, over the scanner, and the door opened with a quiet click. We staggered into his room and all three of us collapsed onto Simmons' bed, Simmons still asleep, Will and I breathing heavily. We looked at each other over the still form of Simmons and had to look away just as quickly before bursting into laughter.

"Alright," I groaned, sitting up. I pulled Simmons' shoes off and tossed them away haphazardly.

"You gonna tuck him in, too?" asked Will. I snorted.

"Dude, could you imagine what would happen if we woke up right now, with me taking his shoes off and you lyin' next to him-"

Will shook the bed from trying not to laugh so hard before rising to his feet and walking around the bed.

"C'mon, girl," he said. "He's out. We should get to bed, too."

"Yeah," I said, raising shakily to my feet. My legs hurt like hell from all the running I'd been doing just a few hours ago.

I paused in the doorway to look back at Simmons, sprawled across the bed with his mouth slightly open and his hand thrown across his stomach, and didn't try to repress the fond smile. My heart skipped a beat.

I closed the door behind me quietly. Will was waiting for me out in the hall.

"Think you can make it to your room?" he teased, gesturing to my door. I pulled my key out of my bra and held it up, smirking.

"I think I'll manage."

His eyes darkened, slightly, and the smile on his face flickered. Fire began curling around my abdomen. I knew where this was going. Hell, I'd half planned on it- but I hadn't really expected anything to follow through.

He leaned in, slowly, his eyes flickering between my parted lips and my eyes, and I was inwardly screaming at myself.

_YOU GO, GIRL!_

_HE'S MARRIED!_

_GET 'EM, GET 'EM, GET 'EM GIIIIRL._

_MARRIED!_

_HOTT!_

_ADULTERY!_

His eyes flickered between my lips and my eyes and, just before our lips met, the lights in the hallway flickered, breaking the spell. He hesitated and something seemed to wake up behind his eyes, and his brow furrowed.

"I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't've-"

I grinned and punched him lightly in the chest, ignoring the quivering feeling in my legs and stomach, eliminating the tension. "Go to bed, William."

"Yes, mother," he laughed, turning away. I waved at him when he reached his own door before disappearing inside my room. I reached behind me and unhooked my bra, letting it fall to the ground before collapsing onto my bed.

A whole week of Simmons and Lennox sleeping in the rooms next to me, a whole week that I'd undoubtedly spend around the two of them.

"I'm so screwed."

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Fever" by A Fine Frenzy

A/N: This chapter gives me so much amusement. Oh Simmons, you poor, tempted, middle-aged man. So, what do you guys think of the Katty/Simmons angle? It it hott, squicky, screwed up, adorable, what? If Lennox wasn't married, I'd totally put them together, but the real Katty and I both have issues with married men leaving their wives for another girl, so unless Lennox and Sarah split up IN CANON, nothing apart from a whole lotta sexual tension and a maybe a few slip-us is gonna happen. Just for a warning. However, Katty's given me the greenlight on putting maybe some foxy human/mech love in here, since after they leave the base, Katty and Simmons won't be seeing each other till ROTF. I've already got some pairings in mind, but tell me what you think! Which two Autobots would you most like to see our not so lovely heroine with?

To answer a few travel questions- I'm going to London with my family and I'll be there about three weeks. I'm not sure if I'll have internet acess while there, so don't necessarily expect updates while I'm gone, although I will have my computer so you can bet I'll be writing while there. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews!

Sarah.


	3. Good Morning, Starshine!

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**

_Suddenly Seymour is standin' beside me  
He don't give me orders  
He don't condescend  
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide me  
Sweet understanding  
Seymour's my friend_

Tell me this feelin'll last till forever  
Tell me the bad times are clean washed away

Please understand that it's still strange and fright'nin'  
For losers like I've been it's so hard to say

Suddenly Seymour,  
He purified me  
Suddenly Seymour  
He showed me I can  
Learn how to be more  
The girl that's inside me  
With sweet understanding,  
Seymour's my man!

**Chapter Three: Good Morning, Starshine!**

My body. It hurt. _Everywhere_.

But although I was in a considerable amount of pain, that wasn't what had awoken me. My eyes snapped open. I was lying on the very edge of the bed, my face smushed up against the fluffy pillow, the covers up almost to my ears. I tried to think; apart from the pain, there was nothing that should have woken me up. My bed was comfortable, I was warm, and there was no cold, wet drool on my pillow to shock me into wakefulness-

And then, despite my glasses being off and only being able to see blurs of color, I spotted my awaker.

There was a big yellow face in my doorway- a big yellow face with two bright blue eyes. A big yellow face that kept humming and purring and squeaking,

I groaned, blinking blearily, my brain trying to make sense of what I was seeing.

The face made a happy mechanical noise that was as cute as hell.

"Bumblebee?" I slurred, my brows furrowed as I exhaled through my nose, nuzzling my face deeper into the pillow. "What're you doin'?"

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray-"_

"Tha's sweet," I said, smiling at the blur of yellow and blur. Bee chirruped happily.

"_You'll never know dear, how much I love you-"_

Yawning widely and cringing at my morning breath, I pulled myself upright, sitting cross-legged in my bed with the covers wrapped haphazardly around my waist. I smacked my mouth sleepily, looking around the gray room. Bee nodded.

"_Get up offa that thing, shake it, you'll feel better."_

"Hey, watch it talkin' 'bout my butt."

I gabbed my glasses off of the bedside table and shoved them onto my face, and suddenly the world came into focus. I saw all the little pieces of Bee's happy face and guessed he was kneeling down in the hallway.

"You're adorable," I told him, and he grinned, humming in agreement. "But I'm not getting dressed in front of you. You might be an alien, but you're still a guy. Wait for me in the hallway."

He whined in protest as I swung my legs over the side of the bed- and immediately grasped the bed-side table to support myself as my legs turned to jelly under my body. I looked up at Bee in surprise. He was laughing at me.

"It's not funny," I said, grinning. "Loser."

I braced myself this time and slammed the door, although I could still hear him vocalizing out in the hallway. I shook my head, grinning. There was something wrong with me if a twenty-foot tall robot made me want to talk to him in baby talk- and Bumblebee did.

The base had supplied us with temporary clothing- mostly sweatpants and tank tops, which excited me greatly. I actually had an excuse to walk around looking like a hobo all day.

I pulled on the same pair of sweatpants I'd worn last night and snapped my bra into place before tugging a black tank top over my head. There was a small mirror, and I made my way over to it, running my fingers through my hair. In lieu of a brush, it was the best I could get. Thank God there was a toothbrush, because my breath _stank._

Once I looked human, I crossed back over to the door and opened it, after shoving my room key into my bra, and saw a pouting Bumblebee. He made a happy noise when he saw me.

"_My life would suck without you-"_

"Can it," I grinned, poking his metal nose as I pushed by him out into the hallway, shutting my door behind me. I was right, he was kneeling on all fours, but once I was out in the hallway, he transformed into the car. I turned around and raised an eyebrow, grinning at him.

"Are you serious?"

His engine revved in response and he gently nudged my legs, making me laugh.

"Fine, Bee, you win."

I went around him and slid in the drivers seat, poking the steering wheel.

"How do you like that, huh?"

He honked, very loudly and unnecessarily.

"Oh, now that was just over dramatic. Really."

"You started it," he said and I squealed, patting the leather seat as we began to inch forward.

"You spoke!"

"It happens occasionally," he said in his mechanical voice, much more mechanical than the others, but the deep tone was amused. His clock said that it was only 7:42am, which annoyed me greatly. I'd had way too little sleep and way too much running in the past forty-eight hours.

I sprawled out on his seats, slouching, as we passed Simmons' room- and, of course, with my luck being what it is, the door swung open. We stared at each other for a moment, in shock, his face slightly taken aback and his eyebrows furrowed, and me- well, I couldn't tell you what I looked like. I kept picturing him sprawled out across the bed like he'd been last night.

"_Ow! I feel good!" _Bumblebee sang, and I burst into laughter just as he sped up, leaving a confused and probably irritated Simmons behind us.

-

Simmons stared after them, not really sure what to think. That girl… was weird. Beautiful, and tempting as hell with her dirty grin and flashing eyes, but undoubtedly weird.

Simmons shrugged and made his way to the mess hall, following the sounds of the car and the girl's laughter.

-

"You should have seen his face!' I gasped to Sam and Mikaela.

The mess hall was enormous; big enough for Optimus, the tallest of the robots, to stand at full height. There was food, too, and clothes and toiletries for us to take.

Sam and Mikey and I were making our way over to the food as I told them about my eventful morning.

Mikaela smiled, shaking her head.

"Can you imagine seeing _him_ first thing in the morning?" said Sam, shuddering. "I mean, god. Oh, god. No, no, that is _not_ a good image-"

Which, of course, reminded me of Lennox and I last night, sending me into fresh cackles that they didn't understand.

"What set her off?" asked an amused voice from behind me.

"William!" I bellowed, grinning, throwing my arms out like a showgirl as I whirled around to see Captain Lennox himself. He smiled, shaking his magnificent head.

"How are you so damn cheerful this early-"

"BumblebeecametopickmeupandIsawSimmons," I said, very quickly, grinning wildly. He stared at me.

"Once more, princess."

"Bee came to pick me up," I said, exaggeratedly slow, "and we saw Simmons."

His face spilt into a wide grin. "First thing in the morning, huh?"

"What?" asked Sam, and Mikaela just raised her eyebrows.

"C'mon, Sam," she said. "Let's get some coffee while they're verbally copulating."

She winked at me, obviously intending on helping me out, but all that happened was that I was very suddenly aware of the ring on Lennox's finger and he was scratching the back of his head awkwardly, looking anywhere but me-

Wait a second.

"Did you say… _coffee_?" I asked her slowly, and she nodded just as slowly, raising her eyebrows like she was talking to someone rather stupid.

A grin spread across my face as the beautiful little machine caught my eye. Like some kind of very sad Pavlov's dog, I began salivating and all but ran over to the machine, a considerable feat considering how sore and jelly-like all my muscles and especially my legs were.

I grabbed a cup and pressed the button that would give me coffee, sighing loudly and contentedly as the black liquid began streaming into the cup, steam rising from it, giving off a heavenly aroma. A blissful grin spread over my face. _Cooofffeeee._

"Excellent," came an accented, sarcastic voice from behind me as I was adding a third spoonful of sugar into my coffee. "Just what_ you_ need. Caffeine and sugar, all in one go. Who the hell let you near the coffee?"

"Mmm-mm," I said without turning around, taking a first sip of the marvelous drink. My eyes closed in pure bliss as I turned around to face Simmons.

"This… is wonderful."

"You are a _freak_," he said flatly, and I opened my eyes, grinning at him as I gulped the scalding drink.

"Which is exactly why you love me."

"You're apparently delusional, too-"

"How was your drink?" I asked him, grinning, and he stopped talking. Lennox was watching us from a few feet away. I cocked a hip out, raising my eyebrows. "After I left."

He was silent for a minute. "I don't know what you're talking about." There was a threat to shut up now, please behind his words. My grin widened and I drank a bit more of my coffee as I looked up at him. I loved his eyes.

"Didn't you wonder how you got to your room?"

"I suppose I should thank you for that," he said sarcastically. I shrugged, my grin becoming lecherous, and he raised his eyes skywards.

"Do you have to pervert everything? I mean, normally I wouldn't mind, but with the fact that I'm old enough to be your father-"

"Comes naturally, darlin'. I guess you'll be 'thankin'' Cap'n Lennox, too. He helped."

"Oh, so you _did_ find someone else to torture."

We both glanced at Lennox, who quickly looked away from us, beginning to laugh at something Epps had said. Simmons looked back to me, eyebrows raised.

"You know he's married, don't you?"

"And you're twice my age."

"Three times, actually."

"Ooh. Dangerous."

"… freak."

"You like it."

"…I do not."

"Why do you _lie_ to yourself, Reggie?"

"_Don't_ call me that."

"What's it short for? Reginald? Regan? Seymour. Ha, that's a funny word. Seeeeeyyymoooouuuuurrr-"

"What's Katty short for? 'I'm a teenager who likes big-"

"-Haha-"

"-guns, flirts with anything that moves and goes for the wrong kind of man?"

"Touché."

Without really thinking about it, we'd begun to make our way over to a table, both of us holding nothing more than a steaming cup of coffee each. We sat down next to Maggie and Glen, the latter of whom looked up at us in apprehension, and we still kept tossing insults back and forth.

"Were you dropped on your head as a child?"

"Many, many times," I said cheerfully and he stared at me, shaking his head, before straightening up and asking loudly, "_Why_ am I sitting with you?"

"You're sitting with us, too," said Glen unhelpfully, gesturing to himself and Maggie. Maggie froze, a spoonful of cereal in her mouth, her eyes darting between us. I put an arm around Glen's shoulders and said to Simmons, "Yeah, you're sitting with them, too!"

"Like I said. _Why_?"

I withdrew my arm from around Glen's shoulder and said, grinning, "Because you actually _do_ love me and you just don't know it yet."

He snorted into his coffee. "Yeah, that's gotta be it."

"Hey. Are you makin' fun of me?"

He looked up, mock hurt and indignation in his eyes. "Who, me? Never!"

It was disturbingly easy to talk with this man who, like he'd said, was three times my age. Then again, though, I'd always gotten along with people older than me better. They were easier to charm.

"He botherin' you?" asked Sam as he sat down next to Simmons, who gave him an incredulous look. Mikaela sat down next to Sam, her eyebrows raised and her face hard.

"Am I bothering _her_-?!"

"I can handle him," I said, grinning, to Sam as I glanced at Simmons, who glared at me, his mouth slightly open. I winked at him.

He rose to his feet, that same expression on his face, and walked off, clutching his coffee in one hand. I was a little surprised to feel a pang as I watched him walk over to Secretary Keller and sit down without so much as a glance to me.

Maybe he really _did_ think I was just an irritating, perverted kid.

"Hey, guys," said Lennox, as he lowered himself into the seat Simmons' had just vacated. Shaking myself out of the sudden bout of self-consciousness, I raised my head and grinned my widest, most charming (and most shark-like) grin at him.

"William!" I crowed happily. "I love you. So, so much."

Everyone stared at me as it got slightly quieter. I frowned down at my coffee.

"Jeez. Caffeine rush."

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Suddenly Seymour" from Litte Shop Of Horrors. I HAD to.

A/N: THAT SONG IS SO MUCH WIN. I love this chapter. All the Katty/Simmons interactions make me cackle like mad, and Bumblebee is just too friggin adorable for words. Love that lil bot. BTW, I totally would talk to him in babytalk, and so would Katty. Obviously.

Love,

Sarah


	4. Simmons' Surprisingly Serious Story

_**I Think That Car Just Stood Up**_** by Teenage Anomaly  
**_**

* * *

**She moves through moonbeams slowly  
She knows just how to hold me  
And when her edges soften  
Her body is my coffin  
I know she drains me slowly  
She wears me down to bones in bed_

Leave me alone.  
You suck so passionately  
You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature  
finger-bangin' my heart  
You call me up drunk  
Does the fun ever start?  
You're hideous and sexy!

**Chapter Four: Seymour Simmons' Surprisingly Serious Story**

She was irritating. And infuriating, and immature, and perverted-

-and a little bit charming.

Simmons groaned at himself, letting the bar fall onto his chest. He'd come into the gym with the intention of not thinking, but now that he was here, he found that that thinking was all he could do. And that damn girl- with her eyes and her grin- wouldn't stay off of his mind. It was stupid. He didn't even _like_ her.

He liked women. Liked them quite a lot, actually- and he was good with them. Simmons liked women with a bit a fire, a bit of an attitude, someone with a backbone. And that girl- that Katty- she had a backbone. And a lot of attitude. Too much of it, really. Plus, she was good with a gun.

"Damn criminals," he grunted, raising the weights higher as sweat dripped down his face.

First time he'd seen her, back at that Wickity house where she'd been standing behind the mom, peering at him, on her toes to see what was going on, he hadn't thought much of her. Thought she looked cute in her glasses, intelligent, maybe a little bitchy, very pretty, and very short. And that she had enormous boobs. Now he _knew_ that she was intelligent, she could be _very_ bitchy, hell, she was _beautiful_, she was a bigger pervert than a lot of guys he knew, she was loud, she had a good sense of humor, she liked to drink, she was good in a crisis, and she was an enormous flirt.

He couldn't really put his finger on what about her bothered him. Maybe it was her age- only sixteen. She probably didn't even realize how very young she was. He found it surprisingly easy to forget, because she didn't act her age.

Maybe it was how she didn't care whether or not he liked her. She was going to hang around him, damn his feelings on the subject.

Or maybe it was that he couldn't tell when she was joking and when she was being serious. He was like that, too; you could never tell when the joke had ended with him. Or if there'd even been a joke to begin with

Yeah. That was probably it. It felt like she was messing with him- and Simmons did not appreciate being messed with.

And that _face. _Behind those pretty blue eyes there was some kind of monster. He'd seen her, with that gun- she was the kind of girl who looked like she belonged with a gun down her pants.

"Criminals."

"Anyone I know?"

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear.

Simmons closed his eyes, his fists clenching around the weight bar. She was standing in front of him.

He opened his eyes and sat up, twisting around. She stood there, bold as anything, with her hands on her hips and that crooked smirk spreading across her face. It was the damn glasses. They made her look too innocent, too intelligent.

"I thought you were too sore to_ move_?" he snapped, remembering her complaints from earlier. She shrugged.

"I didn't come here to work out."

He stared around the room, at all the weight machines, and then looked slowly back at her.

"Then what the hell did you come here for? To appreciate the scenery?"

He realized a second too late that the scenery, in this case, would be him, and a toothy grin spread over her face.

"Dammit," he said. "I walked into that one."

Smirking, she nodded at something over his head and he turned around to see a TV, playing some show about a group of survivors on a haunted island.

"Came here to watch TV, chief," she said, a laugh under her voice. "I didn't think anyone else would be in here-"

"Well," he said, rising to his feet. She was so _short_. "Someone is here. So why don't you just- leave. Go. Shoo." He flapped his hands at her and she stared up at him like he was stupid.

Great. The little blonde with a penchant for firearms and older men thought he was stupid. That was just _dandy_.

"Do you think I'm irritating?" she asked suddenly, almost, it seemed, before she had time to fully think about it.

They stared at each other.

"Wh_at_?" he asked loudly. She sighed, shaking her golden head and beginning to turn around.

"Never mind-"

"Hey, you hold on, there." He grabbed her arm and she turned back to look at him, surprise in her eyes. "You got me curious now, baby girl."

She sighed, rolling her eyes and shrugging. Why did she have to wear a tank top? A tank top that let her nude bra straps stick out just barely, a tank top that made her look definitely _not_ sixteen? _Why?_ "I mean, I'm the youngest person here. The best friend I have here is married, like you said, and you're the person I feel the most comfortable around, which is really screwed up since you can't stand me-"

"Who said I can't stand you?"

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out, Reg."

"I can… _tolerate_ you. In small doses."

She just looked at him. Funny, she almost seemed… hurt. That could not be good.

"Thanks for that," she said, her voice sarcastic and a little dull. So the egotistical creature_ could_ be hurt. "See ya, Simmons."

She turned and made her way across the gym. Simmons watched her go, feeling as though he'd done something wrong, not knowing why he cared.

"Katty," he called, hating himself. _She's gonna think you like her, old man, don't do it, just let her be hurt-_

"Yeah?" she asked, turning around partway. He stared at her, helplessly, not really sure what he wanted to say. If only she didn't look so damn much like a kicked puppy- a kicked puppy with a grin like a shark and very, very bright blue eyes that managed to be captivating and sultry and playful even behind those black, square-rimmed glasses.

"I don't think you're irritating."

A grin spread over her face, a grin that wasn't perverted or know-it-all, a grin that was completely and purely her. Her face lit up, just for a second, making her look child-like and yet more mature than he'd ever seen her, all at once.

And that grin made it all worth it.

-

"Dammit, old man, you stupid, _stupid_, sonovabitch-"

"Having problems, man?"

The black sergeant named Epps sauntered over to the machine next to Simmons and laid down on it, looking over to the older man.

"No," grunted Simmons, his muscles straining as he pushed the weights upward. "No, everything is fine."

"Hm," said Epps, prepping his weights. "Ain't what it sounds like."

"Okay, Sergeant. What does it sound like?"

"It sounds," grunted Epps, beginning to press the weights but still managing to look over at Simmons, "like girl problems."

Simmons stared at him. "Girl problems?" he asked incredulously. Epps looked away, gritting his jaw as he pumped up and down, his muscles bulging.

"That's what it sounds like."

"It's not girl problems," said Simmons flatly, going back to his weights, straining to keep time with Epps.

"Then what is it?"

There was a moment of silence as both men pumped harder, Epps very quickly, Simmons trying in vain to keep up with him. He was strong, but Epps was a Marine, and Simmons wasn't as young as he used to be.

"It's girl problems," he admitted, although he loathed to think of Katty as a _girl_ and a _problem _in the same vein. As in, romantically. As in, _not_ some annoying child that wouldn't leave him alone.

Oh, lord. The girl was winning.

"Course it is. Is the girl here?"

Simmons said nothing and Epps sighed. "C'mon, man, we're brothers in arms now. I ain't gonna do nothin'-"

"Katty," said Simmons gruffly.

"Katty?"

"Yes, Katty," snapped the government agent. "The short blonde one with the glasses and the eyes and the loud mouth."

"Oh," said Epps, as realization dawned. Then he tsked. "Damn, what is it with this chick? She got beer flavored underwear or somethin'?"

"I don't go around chewing on women's underwear, personally, but I'll let you know if I find out. Hey, wait a second, what do you mean?"

"I mean, bro, that you ain't the only one who's noticed her. Listen, man, there's only four females in this compound, if you ain't noticed, an one of 'ems married, and one of 'ems with that Sam kid. That leaves two- Maggie and Katty. An' Maggie's definitely hott as hell, but Katty's the one that gets noticed, cause she's _loud_ as hell. And believe me, brother," Epps had stopped lifting the weights as he spoke but now started again, "you ain't the only one who's noticed her."

"WHAT? Who?" _Tell me the bastard's name so I can go dangle him in front of that big robot with the guns-_

"My married buddy, fer one. Damn, man, any girl that flirts with a married guy while she knows he's married," he 'tsked' again, shaking his head. "I gotta problem with that, man."

"She's a flirty person," Simmons half growled, half grunted.

"Hell, yeah. She's a teenage kid. She don't know what she's doin', messin' with all these guys-"

"I don't think she's trying to-"

"Believe me. She's tryin'. She probably don't even know it, but I know 'er type."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

Epps looked at him, hard. "The 'make the older guys feel like everythin' just cause she can' type. It's just a game to her, man. This is what girls like her do. Trust me, bro. She ain't the type you wanna fall for, cause she'll make ya feel young again and she'll make you feel like everything', until she gets tired of it or until some new, dangerous type comes along. She's just… she likes messin' wiv people, man. You can't trust a girl like her."

Simmons blinked.

"Are we still talking about the same girl?"

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Love Me Dead" by Ludo

A/N: I have to admit, I'm pretty fond of this chapter. I love Simmons. He's awesome and hunky and those hands. Seriously. So, the "vote" has pretty unanimously said that Katty should be with Bee (lol). As for the other bot, I've had several votes for Ratchet and Ironhide (which surprises me a litte) and one each for Optimus and Jazz. The final decision will, of course, be Katty's, since this is a story for her, but I still wanna know what you think! Guys, Lennox and Sarah won't be getting a divorce UNLESS it becomes canon. Both Katty and I have severe issues with a married man leaving his wife and child for another woman, both for personal and different reasons, and even though this is fiction, neither of us want to go there. There will be some very heavy flirtation and sexual tension, but not an actual relationship unless Lennox gets a divorce in canon. Plus, I love weir, twisted relationships. :) Ans Simmons/Katty is quite weird.

Love,

Sarah


	5. Mothers, Artists and Government Agents

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir **_**by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**

_Mama says she's worried  
Growing up in a hurry_

Come on home, girl mama cried on the phone  
Too soon to lose my baby yet my girl should be at home!  
But try to understand, try to understand  
Try try try to understand  
He's a magic man, mama  
He's a magic man

**Chapter Five: Mothers, Artists and Government Agents**

On the way out of the gym, I passed Epps and gave him a jovial wave. He gave me a two-fingered lazy salute and we went our separate ways.

I was humming and almost skipping down the hallways of the base. Why was I in such a good mood? I had no damn idea. It probably had something to do with the fact that my life was now, finally, after years of waiting, exciting. Maybe it was Simmons. I didn't know, but whatever it was- well, I wasn't going to complain.

Without really knowing where I'd been headed, I found myself in the medical bay, surrounded by enormously tall robots. I was going to develop a height complex soon if I didn't grow, say, another ten feet.

"Wassup, Ratchet!" I bellowed up at the luminous yellow mech. He started and looked down at me.

"Well, hello there, little one."

"How's he comin'?" I asked, pointed upwards at the bottom of the platform that Jazz was lying on. Ratchet crouched down and extended a hand that I climbed onto. He raised me up to the platform.

"Surprisingly well. At this rate, he should be back online before the end of the week- although, of course, he won't be up to his normal standards for quite a while."

I nodded. "Gotcha."

The sight before me was odd. Jazz's body was lying prone, the two halves together, and although last night they had been completely separated, now there were wires and pieces of metal that were beginning to connect them, courtesy of Ratchet.

I looked up at the medic.

"Slow going, huh?"

"_Careful_ going," he said, crouching down and squinting as he pulled two more wires together. There was a hiss and an electrical crackling, and Jazz's body jerked. I jumped back with a shout.

"Dude!"

"Well, his nervous system is back online," frowned Ratchet. "It's a start, I suppose-"

"Katie Sherman!"

"Yeah?"

I leaned over the edge of the platform to see a base operative with his hands on his hips, glaring up at me.

"Is your mother's name Karen?"

"… yeah?"

There was a very unhappy look on his face. "Come with me."

Ratchet gave him a look but lowered me down and then we were walking out of the medical bay, very quickly.

"What's going on?" I asked, struggling to keep up with him. He glanced down at me.

"Your mother's calling."

"What? When I called her yesterday, they told me there was a scrambler for the phone number or something-"

"It didn't work," he said tersely, and we stopped next to a phone. He crossed his arms across his chest and stood. I looked from him to the phone.

"Um, you mind if I take this in private?"

"Yes."

"Can you leave, please?" I asked, more rudely, becoming annoyed. He glared at me, hard, before snapping, "Do you think this is some kind of game?"

"What-"

"Because I hope you know that you're messing around with national security here."

"She's a woman in her forties and the only thing she gives a damn about is whether or not I'm safe," I said flatly. "How much of a danger do you think she'll be? I'm not stupid, Mr. Secret Agent Man. I know how dangerous this stuff is an' I'm asking you to leave so that I can talk to my mom without having to worry about you."

He glared at me for a view more minutes before turning on his heel and walking twenty feet down the hallway and there he stopped, turning back to me, his arms crossed across his chest. Resisting the urge to flip him off, I answered the phone warily.

"…mom?"

"Come. Home. Now," her voice was quiet and dangerous and I could almost see her in my mind, her short black hair mussed up, her eyes wide in anger and her lips pressed so tight they'd be white.

"I can't, mom."

"You can, and you are. Now."

"How did you get this number?"

"Caller ID. Get your butt home-"

"Mom, it's transformers," I said, very quietly. There was a very tense silence on the other end of the line.

"What do you mean?"

"You said it yourself, yesterday. Transformers is real now, and I'm in the middle of it."

"_How_?!"

"I don't know-"

"Who are you talking to?"

I looked up to see Secretary Keller looking down at me, his eyes intense.

"Uh, my mom?"

"Who are you talking to?" mom hissed.

"Secretary Keller," I told her.

"_WHAT?!"_ she shrieked, just as Keller asked, "What?"

I closed my eyes before saying, "Mom, meet the Secretary of Defense."

I thrust the phone out at him, my eyes pleading as he stared at me in shock. "Secretary Keller, this is my mom. Please, save me."

He took the phone, very gingerly.

I ran away.

-

Bumblebee and I were chilling out a few hours later. He was in car form and I was lying stretched out on his back seats, my hands behind my head as he played 80s tunes over the radio, both of us humming along and discussing the merits of Journey and Phil Collins.

"_Send her my love, send her my love-"_

"This is the life," I said contentedly, and he vibrated in agreement, making me giggle.

"Dude, that tickles."

There was a very ominous silence in which, I swear to God, that car was smirking.

"I should not have said that," I said flatly.

Bumblebee began shaking violently, sending me into gales of laughter as I was bounced around. Ironhide tromped past us, grumbling something that sounded like, "Children."

Bumblebee blew a raspberry at him and I cracked up.

"You are the best robot ever," I informed him. He made one of those adorable happy noises.

-

A little while later and Bee was in his bipedal form. We were both sitting against the wall, he dozing off lightly, me leaning against his leg, a sketchbook and a pencil in my hands, sketching furiously. Lead had stained the side of my palm gray, spreading a light film of gray over the paper of the book.

I was trying to draw Bee- or, more precisely, Bee as a human. I wanted to capture his wide eyed-innocence and that fierce loyalty and bravery in a human face. The Bee on paper in front of me was maybe in his late twenties, with wide, bright eyes that would be blue if I had some colors, a long, slightly beaky nose, and a small mouth, all in a square, friendly face.

There were eyes on the paper, too, dark eyes with wrinkles and thick eyebrows, slightly manic eyes that drew you in and refused to let you go.

Simmons' eyes.

I finished Bee but the artistic mood refused to relinquish its grip on me so, quickly, almost furiously, I began to draw more. The other bots, Mikaela's stunningly beautiful eyes and lips in an oval of a face, Sam's puppy dog face with his big eyes, little lips and thick brows, Lennox, whom I drew in a more cartoony style, flexing an arm. I'd have to show it to him later; the kissy expression on his face as he regarded his bulging arm muscle cracked me up and I was sure he'd find amusement in it too.

I attacked the bots next, immortalizing them on paper. Ratchet had a round face with deep set, kind eyes and a beard, while Ironhide looked rather like a very buff Nestor Carbonell, with deep eyes and thick brows, a straight nose and pencil thin lips wrapped up in a long face with a square jaw and stubble that covered half of his face. I gave them both sideburns, just because sideburns made any man ten times hotter, in my opinion. Jazz looked like a mixture of Black and Arabic, with a slightly hooked nose and a smirking, full mouth and thickly lashed eyes with poofy, thick hair.

Prime, I saved for last, erasing a few beginnings before I'd even added features. When I was finished with him, his face radiated a majestic, ancient sadness, his eyes kind and deep and tortured and wise. He looked like Clive Owen, something I'd done unconsciously- but then again, Prime had always reminded me of a giant, robotic King Arthur. His hair was dark and thick, a lock of it falling over his forehead.

Regarding my handiwork with a smile, the spell of artistic madness finally releasing me, I put my materials on the ground and snuggled up against Bee's warm leg, my glasses askew, before drifting off into sleep.

-

Some happy, wondrous mechanical noises awoke me. I blinked myself into consciousness, rubbing my face against Bee and draping and arm partway over his leg. He vibrated.

"_Can you not rub your body up against me? Cause I really can't concentrate when you do that,"_ he snarked.

"Oh, shush, you over-grown can opener, you know you enjoy it."

"Did you do these?' he asked in his real, scratchy, mechanical voice. Still blinking my nap from my eyes I looked up to see him gingerly holding my sketchbook between two of his large fingers. I nodded.

"They're very good, especially for a human," he remarked. I laughed, sitting up and running a hand through my hair.

"Thanks, Bee."

"I'm serious. You know… Ratchet is thinking of making holoforms for us. They're like our holographs, but with real mass, but he needs something to go on. Maybe you could help him."

I looked up into the mech's earnest, metallic face, and nodded, grinning. "Yeah. I'd like that."

With me in his hand, Bee and I walked over to Ratchet, who had been working tirelessly on Jazz. He was even more put together now, but I looked at the doc, my brow furrowed.

"Ratch, I don't know if y'all need sleep, but-"

"I'm fine," he said, his voice a little terse. "Jazz is more important than me being well rested-"

"Yeah, but you'll concentrate better-"

"Is there something you two need?" he asked, straightening up, his eyes flicking up from me to Bumblebee, who held out my sketchbook. Ratchet's eyes flickered over the pictures, then glanced at me, then snapped up to Bee's optics.

"For the holoforms?"

Bee nodded.

"And she drew them?"

Another nod. Ratchet sighed.

"Jazz should be online within a day or two, if I can keep up this pace." He looked at me. "We'll talk after that."

I nodded before crawling to the end of Bee's hand to put my own tiny, human hand on the green mech's arm. Ratchet looked at me, surprised.

"You really should sleep," I told him earnestly. "Jazz won't blame you."

-

"Hey, Secretary Keller!"

I raced after the old man, who stopped and turned to regard me. I skidded to a stop next to him, panting a little.

"Did my mom bite your ear off?"

"She tried," he said, smiling a little. I winced.

"I'm sorry about that, sir. I just wasn't sure how much I could tell her, and-"

"It's alright, young lady," he said. "Now, is there something you need?"

"Actually, yes."

I twisted my fingers together, nervous, as we began to make our way down to the mess hall for dinner. "I wanted to talk to you…"

"Alright."

"About Simmons," I clarified, glanced up at him. He regarded me, his eyes curious, and nodded.

"Continue."

"I think you should let him join NEST."

"And why would I do that, young lady?"

"I mean, he's worked for Sector Seven like, all his life," I said vehemently, raising my eyebrows, my eyes widening. Keller said nothing, just listening and nodding. "He's a really smart guy, if a little stir-crazy, but he's got street smarts and dealin' with these bots is in his genes. And, I mean, this stuff is like, his _life_. You kick this guy out, he's got nowhere to go. It'd kill 'im."

Visions of Simmons in two years, working at his mother's deli, almost made me start cackling. Oh, man, if I ever saw that guy in an apron- it'd go down.

"And the fact that you have a crush on him, does that have anything to do with this?" asked Keller suddenly, his eyes knowing. I turned bright red.

"No! I mean, maybe- I'd be saying the same thing even if I didn't- not that I do, not really-"

He just watched me, an eyebrow raised, his face slightly amused. We stopped outside the mess hall. I sighed.

"I'm not doin' anyone any good, am I?"

"On the contrary," he said, "your loyalty to someone you barely know, misplaced or not, is interesting. But Simmons is a wild card, young lady. Yes, he can take orders up to an extent, but in the end, he has to do things his way-"

"But isn't he normally right?"

Keller smiled, a small, regretful smile. "Unfortunately, Miss Sherman, that's not the point. The point is, this man can't follow orders. And with what NEST will be doing, the ability to follow orders is vital, because disobeying one will get someone killed."

He raised his eyebrows, and I had the feeling we weren't talking about Simmons anymore. He clapped me on the shoulder before disappearing inside the hall, leaving me outside the door, my stomach tingling.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Magic Man" by Heart

A/N: Firstly, to answer a question: I really doubt this story will end up being M. If I have to change the rating, it'll be from language and innuedos, because I really can't stand to read really explicit M-rated stuff as a whole and I seriously doubt I could write it well. Anyway, there's not going to be any actual sex in this story, just so you're warned. At least, no sex involving Katty. Heavy makeout and foreplay? Hell, yeah? But the deed itself? No. Katty's old fashioned.

Next chapter! MOVIE NIGHT! I've already written most of it and things are starting to heat up. You guys I'm leaving for England in four days and I've still got so much left to do (like summer school work blegh) so I can't really say how often I'll be able to update from here on out. I'll really try to get chapter six up tomorrow, but after that, don't necessarily count on any updates for almost a month.

Love,

Sarah


	6. You Want Some Hummus With That?

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**_The day I met you my heart spoke to me  
It said to love you through eternity  
Not knowing that you were another's pride  
I vowed I'd always be close by your side_

I love you darlin' and I always will  
I know you're married but I love you still

**Chapter Six: You Want Some Hummus With That?**

There was a rec room in the base too, and a few of us decided to get together and watch a movie that night. So Lennox hit the lights as Bee finally managed to wiggle into the room and I sank into the couch next to Maggie, saving a seat for Will, as the first movie began playing. We'd decided on a comedy (You Don't Mess With The Zohan, and the irony of Simmons being in the same room almost cracked me up) and then a horror movie. Which was why I was sitting next to Will. I was going to be burying my face in something very soon, and if that something happened to have a six-pack- well. Not my fault.

My fingers drummed a tattoo on my beer bottle, and the couch groaned as Will sat next to me. I glanced up at him- the light from the TV sent his face into deeply contrasting shadows and lights. He nodded at the drink into my hands.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?"

Simmons' head shot up from the armchair he was occupying and he stared at Will and I. I glanced at him. Déjà vu, much.

"Shush, Will."

"Yes ma'am," he laughed, draping an arm across the back of the couch, his hand dangling mere inches from my bare shoulder. I shivered, giddy, resisting the urge to cackle, and pulled my legs up on the couch, sitting Indian style. Glen, who was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, had the popcorn, and I reached down to grab a handful. Glen spluttered, and I gently clunked the bottle of beer against the back of his head as the hysterical opening scene to the movie started. We all gasped and covered our eyes when Adam Sander's naked butt showed up on screen- even me. I screwed my eyes shut, my hands extended in front of me, saying, horrified, "My virgin eyes- oh, god, I'm gonna be scarred for life-"

"YOU'RE a virgin?" interrupted Simmons, shock and laughter behind his voice. I opened my eyes to look at him.

"What, surprised?"

"Very," he said smugly. Sam looked between us, his puppy dog eyes wide, his mouth open a little. He and Mikaela were leaning against Bumblebee and Mikaela was not so subtly tracing patterns on Sam's hand. It almost made me squeal. They were just so damn cute.

"Wow, Simmons," laughed Will a few minutes later. "That Phantom guy looks just like you."

I choked on my beer, gathering some odd looks.

"Devilishly handsome, good with the ladies-" began Simmons, regarding the TV thoughtfully.

I choked again and Simmons cut off, glaring at me with his eyebrows raised. Red faced, I flapped a hand at him, motioning for him to go on.

"Thinks criminals are hot, too," added Mikaela, her tone teasing. Simmons looked at me again and I turned even redder. Will was staring, hard, at the older ex-agent. His hand slipped lower on the couch. The light bounced off his wedding band.

I sighed, snuggling deeper into the couch.

Stupid married men and government agent and yellow robots with big blue eyes.

Man, I was gonna _die_.

-

Will, who'd never seen the movie before, laughed so hard he cried. His hilarity sent me over the edge, too, and soon we were collapsed over each other, cackling madly. It was the scene with the Zohan and his American friend playing hacky-sac with a cat that sent him over the edge, and my giggles hadn't ceased since the "Hezbollah Hotline" incident.

And, after our laughs had subsided, it was only natural that Will's arm now remained firmly around my shoulders, his fingers lazily tracing invisible patterns over the scratched, tanned skin of my shoulder, and it was only natural that I was now a little closer to his chest, my hand resting ever-so-slightly on the edge of his leg, my head tilted back onto his shoulder.

WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE MARRIED. HE WAS SO FREAKING PERFECT.

But I knew that this- whatever the hell this was- couldn't go beyond flirtation. I couldn't do that to his wife and especially not their child. It disgusted me, the thought of what I was doing, flirting, cuddling up to a married man- but I couldn't stop.

Simmons watched us out of the corner of his eye.

We weren't the only ones cuddling, though- Mikaela was now sitting between Sam's legs, their hands intertwined on his knee, as the boy leaned against Bumblebee, who also thought they were adorable. You could tell, because whenever he looked down at them, he made this happily little noise that sounded like the mechanical equivalent of "awwwwww".

Even Maggie had moved next to Glen on the carpeted ground, her head resting on his shoulder, although in their case, it was more a case of very good friendship than romance.

Will's warmth surrounded me, his fingers on my shoulder doing odd things to the rest of me.

Let's just say that at this point, I wasn't paying much attention to the movie.

I took an unnecessarily long swing of my beer.

-

"Katty, hey, Katty, wake up-"

"Huh? Wha'?"

I opened my eyes, breathing heavily, blinking and sitting up straight. Will looked at me, amused. The room was empty.

"Wha's goin' on?" I asked, confused.

"The movies are over, sleepin' beauty. It's almost three in the morning."

"Oh," I said. "Mmkay."

I still had no idea what was going on. Will rose to his feet, stretching.

"C'mon," he said, extending a hand. "Let's get to bed."

My heart may have fell out of my body. I grasped his hand and rose unsteadily to my feet, still a bit wobbly and very, very tired. Will didn't let go of my hand as we left the rec room and made our way down to our rooms.

"How are you doing?" he asked me quietly, and I looked up at him.

"What'd ya mean?"

"With everythin' that's been happening. It can be a lot to take in."

"Oh, no, I'm fine wiv' it. I mean, I've been waitin' for my life t' be this excitin' fer like, years, an' now that it is… dude, I'm lovin' this."

We reached our rooms. I decided to wait before pulling the key out of my bra this time- I was tipsy and exhausted, and if something happened when I was in this state of mind- well, I wouldn't be a virgin anymore come morning, to put it politely.

He laughed. "I'm glad. Working with you is gonna be exciting."

I grinned. "Always is, baby."

He gave my hand a squeeze that lasted a little too long and was a little too tight and hesitated a minute before asking, "Is there something going on between you and Simmons?"

My brain shut down.

"Say what now?"

"The whole night, he was watching you more than the movie. And some of the things he said- well, I guess I just assumed-"

"There's nothing goin' on between us," I said, failing to mention our heavy (if a bit one-sided) flirtation and banter. "We're just… friends, I guess."

"Good," said Will. "Kid, he ain't a good guy. Even if he wasn't so much older than you, he's a little unstable, if you know what I mean."

"I c'n take carra myself, Will." Exhaustion was slurring my words, and Will laughed.

"Sure you can, Katty. See you in the morning, darling."

He let go of my hand then and walked down to his own room, giving me a wink before sliding the key and disappearing inside the room. Bleary with exhaustion, I pulled my own key out of my bra and opened the door, stumbling over to my bed. I barely unhooked my bra and placed my glasses on the bedside table, slipping out of my pants and under the covers before slipping out of consciousness.

-

There are probably zombies that looked better than I did the next morning when I trudged into the mess hall, barefooted, looking like there was a ragged Pomeranian glued to the top of my head. I was pretty sure my hair was about to start developing talk radio and space flight.

I felt dead, too. My brain wasn't forming more than three words together coherently, my body was somehow sorer than it had been yesterday, and I was beginning to border on sleep deprived.

The coffee machine beeped welcomingly and I slugged over to it, trying to blink the sleep out of my eyes. The first few sips awoke me and prepared me, just a little, for the voice over my shoulder.

It was Judy, who was perpetually bright and chipper and a little insane.

"So," she said cheerfully, pouring herself some coffee. "I've been thinking about us girls getting together."

"Huuhh?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes and making a loose gesture with her hand as she held a steaming cup of coffee. "You know. You, me, Sam's girlfriend, and that pretty Australian girl. We should all hang out tonight!" She elbowed me in the side, grinning deviously. "Give all the men a run for their money, huh? C'mon, what do ya say?"

Despite my zombie-ish demeanor, the idea was exciting. I felt a very scary grin spread over my face. Judy looked a little alarmed.

"I'm in."

It felt like we were planning a multi-billion dollar heist instead of a simple girls night.

I wasn't sure who I felt more sorry for: myself, or the males in the base.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"I Know You're Married" lyrics by ?

A/N: Next chapter: The girl's night of doom, 'Hide gets punk'd, and Katty and Simmons get stuch in a closet :).

In case any one couldn't tell, this chapter was just an excuse for some hott, pointless Lennox action and Simmons jealousy. Love those boys. So much. I kind of feel like I'm loosing the nonsensical, light-hearted humor that the first story had, and I'm trying hard to get it back. You'll see, in the next chapter. I'm gonna try to get it up before I leave (that's what he said). Love you guys! It's really early in the morning and I need to get to bed. Please review!

Love,

Sarah.


	7. Was That A Confession?

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**_I die every time you walk by  
I can't hide that I'm drawn to you  
Desire is such a wicked little high  
When the one you want is blind to you_

You're the third scoop  
The second pack  
You're the reason for therapy  
Why I should go back  
Hey Mister Wrong  
You're the tingle in my jeans  
You're everything I don't want  
But everything I need

**Chapter Seven: Was That A Confession?**

"I have beer!" Maggie crowed triumphantly, the door swinging shut behind her as she entered Judy's room (we'd kicked Ron out because it was the largest room and even had its own TV) and the other three of us-me included- whooped as she handed us the alcoholic drinks. If I continued at this rate, I'd be an alcoholic before the end of the week.

"Ooh, I love beer," said Judy happily, throwing her head back and taking an impressive swig. Mikaela just smiled, shaking her head a little, her own beer simply clutched at her side.

It was just like any other girl's night. We drank and gossiped and laughed and embarrassed each other by making each admit who they thought was hot.

Maggie turned bright red. "That- that Epps fellow seems very nice."

"Nicely formed, that's for sure," I grinned, winking at her, and she laughed.

"_Very_ nicely formed."

"What about that um, that Captain?" asked Judy, swallowing her beer and gesturing in a circular motion with her hand. "That William?"

"He's married," I said, sighing and rolling my eyes. "Unfortunately."

"That's a shame," said Maggie. "She must be a foxy girl."

I thought of Sarah's long face and perfect hair and said nothing.

"What about the robots?" asked Mikaela suddenly, a devious grin spreading over her stunning face. "Their personalities, I mean."

"Oh, sure that's what you mean," winked Judy before she stared off into space. "Well, I quite like the look of the big one- Prime. Very take charge. That'd be interesting."

"And painful," I cackled, and we all dissolved into giggles.

"Would that be humanly possible?"

"I really doubt it."

"Ratchet's making holoforms for 'em, though, so soon we won't have to worry about being injured," I said gleefully, bouncing up and down on the bed. The other girls laughed too.

"Ironhide," said Mikaela decisively. "Definitely. He'd be all repressed passion and then the next thing you know, you're pinned to something."

"Yum."

"I like the yellow one," said Maggie. "He's sweet."

"Don't let his puppy eyes fool you," I told her. "He's an enormous perv."

-

In the kitchen, several men sat around the table, just looking at each other, saying nothing.

Epps sighed. "Dammit, we need women."

"I agree," growled Ironhide.

-

We were collapsed over each other in laughter as Mikaela and I regaled the other two women of Simmons' forced strippage. To say that they found hilarity in it would be an enormous understatement.

"And then-" I managed to choke out, "he had boxers that said "Aloha"!"

Mikaela cackled in a very unlady-like fashion, clutching her ribs as Maggie shook with laughter, tears streaming down her face. Judy hooted.

"Oh, that poor man!"

"Bee peed on him!" I gasped, sending us into fresh gales.

-

Being the mature, well-adjusted women that we were, we began playing truth or dare a few hours later. And being the classy, _refined_ women that we were, of course all the questions were appropriate and would never make any one of us feel uncomfortable.

"Did you sleep with Glen?" I asked Maggie flatly, grinning. She froze, her eyes widening over the top of her beer, which she'd just been about to finish. A small smile spread over Judy's face and I grinned, flat out. She sighed, lowering the bottle.

"It was just once, okay? _And_ he forgot where we were the next morning." She groaned, shaking her head before looking back up at us. "Most embarrassing day of my life, okay?"

Mikaela was repressing an enormous smirk and Judy was staring at the blonde woman with a mixture of horror and awe on her face. I was speechless.

"Maggie, I gotta know. You're hott and foxy and he's, well…"

"Glen?" supplied Maggie, smiling a little. I nodded.

"I mean…. _why_?"

"I was drunk," she said simply, and we all nodded and "ahh"-ed, understanding dawning.

"So, Katty," she drawled, a dangerous look in her eyes and I was suddenly very worried, "truth or dare?"

"…dare," I said decisively, and a wicked grin spread over her face. My eyes widened.

"Maggie, you know how much I love you, don't you?"

-

"I can't believe you're making me do this!" I hissed at the other women once we were outside the Autobot's bay, but they only sniggered. I still didn't know where they'd found the pink spray paint, but it was too late for that now. I was going in.

Why the _hell_ did I agree to this?

I turned to them. "If I die, I want you to know that I hate all of you. Very much. Oh, and tell Simmons he's one fine piece of man for me, will you?"

"Go, go!" Maggie giggled, pushing me, and, taking a deep breath, I ducked under the doorway.

The bots were all asleep, including my victim, who was actually snoring. I was incredibly nervous. You don't mess with robots who love their cannons. I approached him very quietly, my heart pounding, and stopped when I was maybe five feet away. I raised the can of spray paint and covered my face with an arm and began to spray.

After spraying painting pretty things like smiley faces and rainbows and little hearts on one of Ironhide's arms, I was beginning to get into the spirit of it all, starting to giggle, getting a little more bold as I aimed the can at his chest-

And then his eyes snapped open and I dropped the can with a clatter and a squeak. We stared at each other in wide-eyed shock for a moments before he said, his voice an angry and slightly confused growl, "You'd best have a good excuse for this, human."

"Look, 'Hide, it was a dare, I had no choice, I swear, girl codes and all-"

"WHAT was a dare?"

And then he saw the can of paint and his eyes zeroed in on his arm- now covered in pretty pink drawings. His eyes flashed back to me.

"HUMAN!" he roared, and I turned on my heel and ran.

"Oh, shit!"

Maggie, Judy and Mikaela were almost collapsing over themselves in laughter, unable to breath, much less run. I grabbed their arms and started to drag them and Ironhide's thundering footsteps sounded behind us.

"Dudes, he's coming-"

Stumblingly, we ran, giggling and laughing the whole time, throwing glances back. Ironhide was too tall to chase us down the hallway to our room-

"Oof," I said intelligently as I crashed into something solid and warm and manly, stumbling backwards. The other three women ran on, waving back at me, cackling.

"Traitors!" I called after them, before noticed what- or who- had stopped my run. Simmons looked down at me, rubbing his chest, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"We should probably hide," I told him, my voice bordering on a hysterical squeal, and he raised his eyebrows.

"And why would we want to do that?"

I'd noticed a closet and my heart thunked right out of my chest at the thought of all the possibilities- true, it was cliché, but dammit, it would be hot.

"HUMAN!" bellowed Ironhide, and I turned around to see him charging for me, waving his pink arm around, his face very angry and maybe a little bit amused.

The anger outweighed the amusement.

I looked up at Simmons and squealed before darting for the closet, just out of Ironhide's reach and, to my surprise, Simmons scrambled inside with me, slamming the door behind him. We listen to Ironhide grousing outside the door, both of us breathing heavily, pressed very close against each other. Damn, he may have been old, but he was fine. Simmons turned wide eyes and narrowed brows to me, the movement of his head sharp and quick. Omigod. That look. It was _brain melting_, I tell you.

"What the hell did you do to him?"

I raised my hands, the fingers of which were bright pink. The smell of aerosol and alcohol lingered around us.

"Spray painted 'im."

"… why the _hell_ would you do that?"

"We were playing truth or dare," I said, by way of explanation, and he just stared at me.

"It's a girl thing."

"I should hope so."

"Hey, Seymour…."

"What?"

I grinned, my eyebrows rising sharply. "We're in a closet."

"You're very observant," he said sarcastically. Our bodies were pressed together in the small, confined space, but I wasn't about to leave, because a) he had a very nice body and b) Ironhide was still outside the door.

"Y'know, I've never been in this situation before," I admitted, looking up at him from behind my glasses, a few tufts of blonde hair falling into my eyes. He snorted.

"What, you've never been chased into a closet with a man three times your age by a grumbling, bad tempered robot that you've spray painted?"

"I heard that," came Ironhide's muffled voice, and Simmons and I both had to stifle laughter. It was an odd moment of camaraderie.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked Simmons, and he shrugged. In the close quarters, I more felt him shrug than saw it. I mean, my head was basically resting on his chest and I had to maneuver my shoulders forward because the space was so cramped. Damn, I was short. The top of my head was lower than his chin- I reached just above his collarbone, and, the way we were pressed together, I had my head turned to avoid getting a face-full of government agent chest. Not that that'd necessarily be a bad thing.

"Think he's gone?" Simmons asked quietly. I shook my head.

"Seriously doubt it."

"Damn."

"What, you don't enjoy bein' stuck in a closet with me?"

He turned his head to stare down at me and I craned my neck to return his gaze, smirking.

"You are extremely weird."

"And you've said that before."

"Well, it merits repeating."

"You're using very big words, and it's very late. Or early."

"Aw, is your little brain shutting down?"

"You keep moving like that and it might," I said, sighing. Damn, I was tired.

Without really thinking about it, I let my head fall forwards onto his very nice, very warm chest, and I felt him stiffen and inhale sharply.

"Haven't you ever heard of personal boundaries, kid?"

"We're in a closet, Reg. No such thing."

"We wouldn't be in a closet in the first place if it weren't for you and your immature pranks."

"Aw, c'mon. It was funny as hell, and you know it."

He said nothing and I nudged him, drawing my head back. He sighed.

"Fine. If it hadn't led us to where we are… it might have been a little amusing."

"Mmm-hmm," I said smugly. "That's what I thought."

We stood in silence for a few minutes before he asked, very suddenly, "Did you mean it?"

"Every darn word," I said cheerfully. "Wait, what are we talking about?"

He chuckled. "Last night. You said you were a virgin. Was it the truth?"

"Is it really that hard to believe?"

"You act like you know what you're doin', baby girl."

"Oh, so you did notice."

He sighed, his eyes boring into mine. "It's hard not to. You're about as subtle as a nuclear warhead and not quite as tactful."

"Gee, Seymour, I love you too."

"The feeling isn't mutual."

"Not yet. Give me a while."

He stared at me. "Just how big is your ego?"

"You remember that nuclear warhead you mentioned?"

"…."

"A little bigger than that. That's what she said, by the way."

"Okay. You may be loud, annoying, perverted-"

"-not to mention charming, sexy, irresistible-"

"- yes, that-"

My brain fell out of my body and I stared up at him but he didn't seem to realize he'd slipped up and admitted to something.

He liked me.

Holy cow.

"- but you do have a pretty good sense of humor."

"So do you, Reg," I grinned, and we just looked at each other for a minute, me grinning like a loon, beet red, resisting the urge to jump up and down and squeal like the kid I was, and he just looked down at me, his lips curved up slightly, those manic eyes deep and unreadable.

For a second and a half, I thought it was the "moment". You know the one- two people lean in, slowly, eyes meeting and hearts pounding-

"We should probably go," said Simmons, softly, gesturing at the door with his head. My heart pounding, breathing a little unsteadily, I nodded.

No Moment. Darn it all.

Hey, Ironhide!" I called, my voice a little shaky as I face the door, looking away from Simmons. "You still there, buddy?"

There was no answer and Simmons and I exchanged a glance.

"Think it's safe?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Only one way to find out."

Very awkwardly, he wormed an arm around me to open the door. It felt… nice. In a non-pervy way. Like, it felt… right, somehow, as cheesy as that sounds, with his arm brushing against my side. I grinned up at him, masking the weird emotions running through me.

"Jeez, Simmons, you wanna hold me, all you gotta do is ask-"

"You are infuriating," he said, but his lips were twitching, and he opened the door. We both blinked in the light, comparatively bright- Ironhide was gone.

We stumbled out of the closet to see Judy and Mikaela and Maggie, standing just a few feet away, looks of shock and glee on their faces. Simmons and I froze.

"This isn't what it looks like," he said quickly as I grinned and said, "This is exactly what it looks like."

"Hey, Simmons," giggled Mikaela, her face split into a wide grin, "Katty wanted us to tell you that-"

"Aaaand that is quite enough of that!" I half-shrieked, grinning hysterically, practically flying to Mikaela's side to cover her mouth with my hand. Simmons gave me an odd look and I simply widened my grin, fully aware that I looked like a lunatic. And, to top it off, I was flushing.

Pervy flirtation and teasing the guy was one thing, but if he found out I had an actual crush on him… it wouldn't end pretty. His slip-up moment previously was just that- a slip-up. He probably hadn't realized what he was agreeing to. There was no way he liked me. Nope. Nada. None.

Judy was snorting and Maggie was doubled over, smacking her knee in laughter. Simmons just looked at the three of us before shaking his head and striding off in the other direction. We heard him mutter, "Damn women."

We all looked at each other, our faces wide-eyed, before busting out into hysterical, howling laughter.

"HUMAN!" bellowed Ironhide suddenly, reappearing, and, still giggling, we turned tail and ran.

-

"I can't believe you!" cackled Mikaela as she slammed the door closed behind us. We all collapsed onto Judy's bed in a giggling mass of estrogen and I felt girlier than I had in a long time. I'd never been a girly girl- part of my "charisma" came from that, although I had enormous boobs and a very feminine face, I was quite the tomboy.

But right now, I was pure female, giggly and hysterical.

"He's older than _I_ am!" giggled Judy. I grinned, nudging her in the side.

" 'S part of his appeal, hombre."

"What did you two get up to?" asked Maggie, smirking. I simply raised my eyebrows evilly, grinning, and they fell around me in shrieks of laughter, knowing full well I was exaggerating but finding it hysterical all the same.

-

Bumblebee knelt uncomfortably in the hallway, his head ducked so he wouldn't hit the ceiling. He didn't need a card to open the door- all he had to do was hold his finger against the scanner, and the door swung inwards.

A mechanical equivalent of "awwwwww" escaped the yellow bot as he beheld the scene in front of him. The women were all asleep on Judy Witwicky's bed, Judy herself under the covers, an arm falling off the bed, her mouth wide open as she snored, with Katty slouched against the wall, her back supported by a pillow, her head tilted back and her mouth open, with Mikaela's and Maggie's heads in her lap, her legs barely dangling over the edge of the bed.

Still "awing" and humming happily, Bee quietly pulled the door back shut, leaving the adorable females to their sleep.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Wicked Little High" by Bird York

A/N: I am quite fond of this chapter, for obvious reasons :) And dang, isn't that song perfect for them? I absolutely love it. This was such a fun chapter to write... I was giggling like an idiot while writing the closet scene. Anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow morning for London, so this'll be the last chapter for about three weeks! I am taking my comuter, so I'll be writing while I'm there, but I won't have internet in my room (I think) so I really doubt I'll be able to update. Love you guys so much! Leave me lots of revies to come back to!

Love,

Sarah


	8. On The Usage Of Holoforms And Forks

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**_The machine of a dream  
Such a clean machine  
With the pistons a pumpin'  
And the hub caps all gleam_

When I'm holdin' your wheel  
All I hear is your gear  
When my hand's on your grease gun  
Oh it's like a disease son

I'm in love with my car  
Gotta feel for my automobile  
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar  
Such a thrill when your radials squeal

**Chapter Eight: On the Usage Of Holoforms And Forks**

"I think you should make them a little bigger," I called, squinting my eyes and tilting my head to the side as I regarded the holoform in front of me. A second later, and the arm muscles on the man swelled to a delicious size. I grinned, pointing a finger lazily at the lifeless projection.

"Oh baby. That is delicious."

"Why should my holoform be tasty?" asked the adorably confused Ratchet. I craned my neck, grinning up at him.

"Dude, trust me. You don't wanna know."

The man standing in front of me was a little taller than average, his face round and kind, wise eyes hidden under thick brows and short hair. It looked quite a lot like Ratchet, actually.

"I think it's good to go, Ratchet."

The big bot behind me nodded and there was an odd mechanical noise as he transformed into his alt-mode, and then the holoform in front of me blinked, his previously gray eyes now becoming a vibrant, brilliant blue- the same blue that normally peered down at me from twenty feet up.

"This feels odd," came Ratchet's voice from the man's lean chest. I raised my eyebrows, a lecherous grin on my face. The voice was still Ratchet, the same timbre and intonation, but it didn't have the rumble-yness. Then again, this chest was much smaller than his other one.

"Everything working right?" I asked, circling around him. He raised his arms, bending them at the elbows and then twisted his torso at the waist, round and round, before looking at me and nodding.

"I think so."

I warily poked the corner of his chest and cackled happily. "You're solid!"

"I suppose that's a compliment."

"You bet, bucko. High five!"

I raised my right hand, grinning, and he just looked at me like he was scared for my sanity.

"You hit it," I explained, and he punched my hand.

"Not like that!" I whined, wringing my sore hand. "Like this."

Much like the very, very lame, I high-fived myself. Ratchet nodded, understanding dawning in his human eyes as the engine in his car hummed, probably storing away this piece of information.

He high-fived me.

I high-fived and enormous robot from outersace.

Life is good, I tell you.

-

Jazz was alive. Well, kind of. He was back together, in one piece again, and the new spark in his chest was flickering determinately. But he wasn't back yet. Bee explained that it was something like when a human computer looses all power, it takes a little while for all the systems to start working again. He should be back "online" within a few hours, and Optimus had practically ordered Ratchet to take a break, which explained why he and I were now goofing off with the holoforms.

I'd sketched the human bodies and faces I'd imagined for the bots as realistically as I could and Ratchet projected them into mid-air in 3D.

There's nothing quite like seeing your drawing projected into mid-air. Ratchet even made the projection so that I could adjust it by poking and prodding until they resembled in 3D what had been on paper.

Also, it was fun to goof off.

Prime's nostrils enlarged dramatically, sending Ratchet's holoform and I into hysterical peals of laughter. The holoform watched us blankly, his eyes gray. Prime, on the other side of the room, tried to glower at us, but couldn't quite manage it and chuckled instead.

"Prime," I managed to gasp, "you are a raving beauty."

"Here," chortled Ratchet's holoform, reaching out a very human finger to pull on the projection's chin, which immediately became a little too manly and square.

I collapsed.

-

They were all done, and we saved Jazz's for last as we waited for him to re-activate, which, as Ratchet said, should be any minute now. All the bots were at their full size, standing around the platform, waiting for the little silver bot to come back to the land of the living. I was perched in Prime's hand, leaning over his finger's to look into the silver mech's face. Bee was bouncing up and down happily, random bursts of happy music coming from him. The over-all mood of the room was very excited- and very tense. We were all worried that something would go wrong, even though Ratchet had assured us Jazz'd be fine. There was no reason to be worried.

But we still were.

Then Jazz's optics- a dull gray without life behind them- brightened. Not to the vibrant blue, but a duller turquoise. A sigh of metallic relief ran around the room and I twisted back to look up at Optimus.

"What does that mean?"

"He doing what you call 'sleeping'," explained the red and blue robot. I turned back to Jazz.

"Does he need sleep?"

"Not really," answered Ratchet. I nodded.

"Well, in that case-"

I jumped off of Prime's hand and my knees buckled as I hit the table. I walked over to Jazz and knocked a couple of times on the shiny metal of his head, right under his horns.

"RISE 'N SHINE, SLEEPIN' BEAUTY!" I bellowed, and Jazz's eyes suddenly brightened completely, a noise of intense surprise coming out of his mouth as he sat bolt upright, arms raised and cannons whirring as he looked around the room.

"I'll take 'em!" he shouted. "Bring it on! Whatcha gonna do, punk, huh?"

The bots all stared at him.

"Yup, he's back," said Ironhide cheerfully. Jazz's head swiveled in the enormous mech's direction.

" 'Hide? I thought you was dead, man."

"Nope."

"That was you," said Ratchet. Jazz blinked.

"Think I might remember that, now that you mention it."

"Jazz," rumbled Optimus, stepping forward. "I'm so glad you're back."

"PRIME!" shouted Jazz, his deep voice laced with glee and then, the next thing I knew, he was practically climbing the taller Autobot and all the tension in the room was gone.

"Who's this?" he asked a few seconds later, pointing a silver finger at me. I grinned at him nervously and Prime picked me up and held me out to him, like I was a hamster Jazz was looking to buy. Jazz blinked at me, tilting his head.

"Wassup, fleshy?"

"Not much, shiny."

Jazz chuckled. "She's cool."

"She's the one who had the idea to bring you back," said Ratchet, and Jazz suddenly looked at me with much more interest.

"Thanks fer that, then, tiny."

"My pleasure, tinny."

He held out a hand and I scrambled onto it, clutching one of his fingers and looking up at him. He was much smaller than the rest of the Autobots. He blinked down at me, examining me, and I looked back up at him, examining him.

"You ain't scared of me."

"I've been hangin' around these guys for about three days, and they're a lot taller than you. Yer not so frightening after that."

"Hey. Don't be disrespectin' th' Jazzman."

"No disrespect intended, darlin'."

Ratchet cleared his throat, tilting his head to the side. "Jazz, you wanna see something?"

"I'm seeing a lotta something right now," he smirked as he gazed down my shirt. I put my hands on my hips and looked down to his manly region.

"Personally, I'm not seeing much of anything."

Ironhide actually laughed out loud.

-

The bots all activated their holoforms before dinner, just for the shock factor of it. I was quite impressed. They were all very attractive, and yes, you can bet I'd designed them that way.

"I wonder how many jaw's'll hit the floor," mused Bee, running a hand through his blonde hair. I poked his side.

"Every single one, baby."

-

I was right.

When we entered the refectory, at first, no one noticed. Why would they? A bunch of human guys and a teenage girl had walked in the door, so what?

But then it slowly registered that there was something very familiar about these five men- especially the eyes. They all had the same piercing, unbelievably blue eyes.

Sam was the first. He stared at Bee and his jaw dropped comically, drawing Mikaela's attention to the men and she stared too, though not quite as obviously as Sam.

"Holy shit," the boy muttered.

"We don't look that different," Ironhide grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. Yum.

"Yeah, cept for, you know, everything," I snarked, grinning. Bee snorted.

"And your arm isn't pink any more, 'Hide," he said, chuckled, and Ironhide's fierce gaze locked onto me. I grinned sheepishly.

"I love you, Ironhide. Please don't crush me."

After getting our food (which the bots were quite excited to be able to try) we all sat together with Sam and Mikaela, who were unable to do anything but stare for a few seconds.

"You look… good," said Mikaela, her eyes roving over Prime and Ironhide. Sam looked a little jealous.

"W-w-w wait, you think they look good?"

"I like big arms, remember?" she told him with a teasing smile.

"Thank you," said Optimus. Jazz was having problems with his fork.

"How the hell do you work this thing?" he asked, frustratedly. I exaggeratedly demonstrated.

"First, you spear something with it. Raise it to the level of your lips and stick it in your mouth, then chew."

"I'll spear you," he grinned.

"That a promise?"

"Count on it, human."

Please, guys," groaned Sam. "No- no sex talk while I'm eating, okay?"

Jazz and I met each other's eyes and burst out into laughter.

It was to be the start of a beautiful friendship. I could tell.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"I'm In Love With My Car" by Queen.

a/n: It's been such a long time :/ Sorry about that. School's been crazy and my inspiration for this story just sort of fizzled out but it's back now! Plus I have swine flu so I'll be staying home from school the rest of the week, so more than likely I'll get quite a bit written.

Thank you guys for sticking with this story even though I haven't updated in so long. It realy means a lot to me.

Love,

Sarah


	9. Close Encounters

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**

_I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser  
I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out  
I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby  
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time_

I'm so green, it's really amazing  
I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me.  
I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy  
It's so strange, I can't believe it  
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost  
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost  
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?  
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind  
It feels just like I'm falling for the first time

**Chapter Nine: Close Encounters**

"I don't wanna clooooose my eyeeeees, I don't wanna faaaall asleep cause I'll miss yooooouuu, baby, and I don't wanna miss a thiiiiiiiing-!"

The water pounded off of the tiles in the shower and ran down me along with suds as I sang quite loudly and quite obnoxiously. I'd be leaving the base in three days, something that saddened me- I'd still see the bots and Lennox, with NEST and all, but it wouldn't be very often.

And, more than likely, I wouldn't be seeing Simmons for about two years, and that just sucked.

Frowning, I rinsed out the shampoo and slathered in enough conditioner to bathe a medium sized third-world nation. My hair is that stubborn.

After shaving, washing my face, and rinsing out all that conditioner, I turned off the water and reached blindly for the towel. Without my glasses, I was slightly blinder than the average bat. The bathroom was hot and humid and I'm amazed I didn't topple over in my quest for the towel.

"Oh where, is my towel? Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh wheeeereeeeeee is my tow- AH-_HA_! YOU CANNOT EVADE ME, YOU… TOWEL!"

I grabbed the fluffy piece of whiteness and began drying myself off, flipping over and scrubbing vigorously at my hair with the towel before flinging my head back and wrapping the towel securely across my chest. It barely reached the bottom of my butt. I grabbed my fogged up glasses and shoved them onto my face and reached for the door-

And at that moment it swung open to reveal Seymour Simmons himself, his hand still on the doorknob, a towel slung over his shoulder and a toothbrush in his mouth.

He froze. I froze. There was much freezing.

For a few seconds, we just stared at each other and my brain didn't even try to process the ridiculousness of this situation. Finally, I got some grasp of logic back, even though my heart was pounding and I was pretty sure I was either bone white or lava red.

"Hi."

Water dripped from my soaking hair down onto my skin and I was suddenly very aware of my body.

He said nothing. It may have been because he was shocked by my ravishing beauty, or it may have been because he had a bright pink toothbrush in his mouth and it looked like it may have been obstructing his powers of speech.

I stepped forward, meeting his eyes very quickly as I edged past him, my bare, wet arm brushing his chest and then _his_ bare arm and then I was out in the hall. I looked behind me. He was staring after me, those manic eyes unreadable and intense and the toothbrush still in his mouth.

I hurried to my room, leaving wet footprints in the hallway, and then collapsed onto my bed, in the towel, and stared at the ceiling, a very silly and a very stupid grin spreading over my face as I began to cackle and squeal and flail.

-

Simmons stared after her and then, when she'd disappeared into her room, he stared at her wet footprints on the tiled floor.

His heart was pounding and he couldn't stop thinking about her. Granted, he'd been thinking about her since they'd been in that damn closet together, but this- was different. He was _thinking_ about her. And him. And that shower.

"Oh, _damn_."

-

Still giggly and more than a little stupider than normal, even for me, I was sitting in the kitchen, eating out of a tub of ice-cream when Lennox came in and plunked a gun on the counter in front of me. I looked up at him.

"Ice oo see oo oo," I managed to say around the ice cream in my mouth. He raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching, and I swallowed.

"Nice to see you too."

"You know how to shoot."

"Si, senor."

"I'm gonna teach you how to kill."

"That is pretty damn sexy."

He chuckled. "Alright, Casanova, finish up your, uh," he tilted his head to the side to read the printing on the side of the carton and laughed, "chocolate chip cookie dough and let's get going."

"Don't mock my ice-cream, boy."

"I'd never dream of it," he quipped cheerfully. "Now, c'mon. We've got some triggers to pull."

"Agreed, mon capitan. Capiton. Whatever."

He stared at me before shaking his head. "Do you have metal problems?"

"Judge me not."

"Alright, Yoda."

-

We were in the firing range, just the two of us, and Ironhide, but he was twenty feet away and about twenty feet higher than us, so we weren't really counting him in our realm of perception.

Although I was clumsy and goofy, I was actually a really good shot. Lennox was impressed- or pretended to be.

"Wow," he said, his eyes wide behind his protective goggles as I grinned widely, the gun still smoking. "You just out-did yourself, kid."

We could see a small, ragged-edged hole right where a human eye would be on the cut out.

"Try again- stomach this time."

"I gotta question, my dear William."

"Ask away, milady."

"We're gonna be fightin' ginormous robots, right?"

"Yeah…"

"So why am I shooting at a human?"

I fired once, twice, three times, wincing slightly with each loud shot, and three smoking holes appeared in the abdominal region of the cut-out.

"Well," said Will, staring at the new holes as he pulled his goggles off, "because we won't just be fighting robots."

"That changes things," I said, pulling off my own goggles. Will nodded, his jaw clenching.

"We'll also be targeting especially dangerous terrorist groups, and the like."

"Ah."

"You don't have to," he said quickly, "not if you don't want to, I'll talk to Secretary Keller-"

"Nah, it's okay," I said, nodding. He stared at me, his hands raised and his eyebrows pulled up.

"Katty, are you sure? Even with the Autobots, it's going to be incredibly dangerous-"

"Y' said it yourself, Will. I was born for this."

A grin slowly spread over his face. "That you were."

Grinning at each other, we pulled our goggles back down and turned to the cut-out.

"Alright."

"Aim," he commanded, "for the base of the neck."

I did so, squinting out of one eye, but he stopped me. "No, keep both your eyes open, and straighten your arms."

I obeyed, fixing my eyes on the spot.

"Keep blinking. Wait till you're ready… you gotta feel the shot, follow it through, like basketball-"

I fired, the kick vibrating up my arm. I missed the mark (Will had a laser pointer) by two inches. I sighed.

"Not bad," said Will, fairly, his voice cheerful. "Not bad. But you rushed it. Again."

I raised my arms again and took a deep breath, steadying my body. I was hyper-aware of Will behind me, his body warm and so very, very close.

"Good," he said quietly, "good. Hold your arms straighter, higher-"

And than, out of nowhere, he was pressed against my back. My eyes widened. His hands reached out, his arms pressing against mine, and he put his big hands very tenderly over mine.

This was a whole new level of wrong. Inwardly, I was squealing and flailing.

"Alright," he breathed in my ear. "You ready?"

Even in this situation, I couldn't resist. "I was born ready, baby."

"Then shoot."

I did, and the kick forced me back, not even an inch, but it pressed me harder against Lennox and I felt his breath hitch.

God, my girlfriends were gonna FREAK when I told them about this.

"Good shot," he said and, taking a deep breath, I turned, flicking the safety on on the gun. My chest was pressed against his and I looked up at him.

"Will?"

He said nothing, just looked down at me, his lips slightly parted and his eyes dark.

"Will, what are we doin' here?"

_Oh my god, don't question him, you idiot, just accept it, he's hot and digs you. DIG HIM BACK, FOOL._

My Inner Voice sounded like a mixture of Judy and Jazz. Scary.

"We're shootin' things," he said, grinning a little and cocking his head. Why did he have to be so darn _fine_?

"And as fun as that is, Will, I gotta-"

"Will you two just get a room already?" growled Ironhide as he fired up a cannon and grunted. "I can smell your pheromones from here. Get it over with, will you?"

Will and I stared at him for a moment before turning back to each other.

"He likes deep, meaningful, romantic relationships, as you can see," I said, raising my eyebrows. Ironhide merely grunted and fired his cannon.

-

I was berating myself as I walked back to my room, hardly seeing where I was going, my mind stuck on a certain Captain.

Although you wouldn't be able to tell unless you knew me very, very well, I was a very morally grounded person- and nearly kissing a married man went against all those morals. I felt like I was breaking a code of some kind, but every time I was near him, codes were the last thing on my mind.

"I hate men," I said to the air, and I heard a deep and distinctly male chuckle come from behind me.

"We aren't all bad."

I whirled around to see Optimus Prime walking towards me, still chuckling, his hands shoved down in the pockets of his holoform pants.

"You aren't human," I said, using my stunning powers of observation. Still smiling, he quirked an eyebrow.

"Maybe not," he said, "but I'm still a male."

I eyed his biceps and monstrous pectorals. "You don't say."

"Are you having… problems with a man?"

We fell into step next to each other, and even as a human, he dwarfed me. The dude was easily over six feet. Course, I was the one who designed him that way.

I thought of Simmons' dark eyes and Lennox's smiling face. "You could say that, yeah."

"What kind of problems?"

We'd began walking again, toward my room, and I had just a few seconds to think that I was having this discussion with Optimus freaking Prime, of all people- er, robots- before my mouth started speaking without ever consulting my brain. "Alright, so there's two guys, actually, and both of them are really not good news, for very different reasons. Guy A is super sweet, really funny and smokin' hot and easy to talk to, but he's married. And to make things absolutely perfect, he has a baby girl. But we keep flirtin' and I know it's wrong and I don't wanna be the homewrecker and I hate myself for even thinking about him like that and it really doesn't help when he rubs his body up against me-"

Prime coughed and scratched his neck.

"-and it's just not a pretty situation. Then, Guy B, well, I sorta think he may be certifiable and sometimes he acts like he can't stand me, which I sort of understand, not to mention he's about thirty years older than me. But he's hysterical and he's got gorgeous dark eyes and these hands…. Oh my gosh."

I looked at Prime, who was just staring at me with a kind of disturbed awe in his face, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. I stared at him, panting slightly, my hands held out, my eyes wide as well, crestfallen.

"Am I crazy?"

"My dear, you are a female."

"So, that's a yes?"

"That is definitely a yes."

-

It was at dinner that night, when I was sitting with the girls and determinately not looking at Simmons or Lennox when Judy, already famous for her bad ideas, perked up in a way that made me fear for, if not my life, then at least my integrity. And there wasn't a lot of it to begin with.

"I have an idea!" she said shrilly, her face slitting into a wide smile as her eyes widened to almost twice their normal size. I wasn't the only apprehensive one now. All three of us younger women were leaning away from Judy, as though by not being quite so close to her we could escape her… madness.

"…What?" I asked slowly, not really wanting to hear the answer. She leaned forward as though she was pitching an idea to a board of directors, her hands up and her fingers spread, practically glowing.

"Poker night!"

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Falling For The First Time" by Barenaked Ladies

A/N: Oh lala, things may get interesting. Someone sent me the message with the idea for a poker game, and I can't remember your name, but thanks! This part of the story is almost over, guys.

Love,

Sarah


	10. Goodbye And Goodnight

_**The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**

_So, come on get higher  
loosen my lips  
faith and desire  
in the swing of your hips.  
just pull me down hard  
and drown me in love_.

**Chapter Ten: Goodbye And Goodnight**

It was the night before I was to leave, and Judy's horrendous vision of a goodbye party was poker- and to my mixed emotions of extreme excitement and extreme trepidation, it had come true.

With everyone.

The bots.

The military boys.

Secretary Keller.

Lennox.

Simmons.

There was going to be beer. And music. And dancing. And poker, which I had no idea how to play.

And beer.

And there was an idea, nagging at the back of my head, which I refused to acknowledge but which I knew would come bursting out at some point during the night.

"Hey," I said, once we were seated around the table, holding our cards. "I got an idea."

It came out. And then they were all looking at me expectantly and it was too late to take it back so I just grinned around at all of them.

"Let's spice things up a bit."

Simmons groaned and the military boys' faces all broke out into wide smiles. Mikaela and Maggie glared at me while Judy clapped her hands in excitement.

"Strip poker!"

Half an hour later and I was missing a sock but otherwise fully clothed. Simmons, however, was glowering around the room while hunched over as he was in only his jeans and Mikaela, who had a great poker face but sucked at the game, was in only her bra and underwear and didn't really seem to care.

"HAHAHA!" I crowed evilly as I pointed at Lennox and slapped my hand of cards on the table. "Off with the shirt, buddy!"

Fast forward another hour and all of us, including the Autobots and Secretary Keller, were in various states of undress. Mikaela had had to start over to keep this from becoming completely obscene. I was currently pants-less and thanking God for my underwear.

"Not a word of this, to anyone!" said Keller threateningly, glaring around at all of us. I snorted into my beer. Simmons was glaring at me intensely but Lennox and the Autobots, who had no embarrassment at all, mainly because they were ridiculously sexy, were enjoying themselves.

"I quite enjoy this stuff," said Ratchet as he tilted back the beer. Lennox slapped him on the back in that manly way that men had.

"You won't be saying that in the morning."

Jazz, who hated loosing, was in only his boxers, grumbling and staring intently at his cards. Every time I looked at him I burst into a fresh round of cackles.

" 'S funny, human?" he barked at me, his stunning blue eyes flashing. I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair.

Eventually the poker game was finished, although at this point we were all so drunk none of us saw the point in putting our clothes back on. Secretary Keller, in his boxers, dress-shirt and tie, was telling Maggie, in a shirt and socks, a story of the time he'd had a drunken one night stand and awoken to find he'd slept with his teacher, regaling the tale with many hand motions and sound effects. Sam and Mikaela, both very close to naked, were kissing vigorously and the drunken Judy was hitting on every man around her.

I was locked in a vicious battle of Presidents with the Autobots with the bet that the looser had to stand on the table and sing.

Predictably, Ratchet lost. Knowing no human songs, he stood on the table as the Autobots and I called for attention. In my underwear. Predictably, I got attention very quickly.

"Hey, over here!"

"Attention!"

"Speech!"

"Song!"

"Cover your ears!"

"I like badgers!"

Ratch was running through songs on the internet when a hideous beat began floating out of his mouth, like his mouth was a speaker. I stared up at him in disgust.

"Really, Ratch?"

"The internet said that it was a prime example of human music-"

"_-lick me like a lollipop, lollipop-"_

"No!" I shouted, shaking my head, although people were already getting up and dancing. The song then changed to something with a good beat and better lyrics, something jazzy and sexy and danceable.

Will grabbed me, laughing, and we began dancing together, laughing and swaying, our arms around each other, grinning up into each other's eyes. He was shirtless and I had no pants on. Things were steaming up.

I resisted the urge to cackle maniacally when he twirled me away from him and then pulled me in closer.

I didn't see it, but Simmons took an unnecessarily long swig of his beer.

-

All good things must come to an end and this thing was definitely good and it, also, had to end.

Will took me back to my room, his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me just a little too tightly. I told him I didn't want to leave tomorrow. He asked if he could come in.

I said yes.

The next thing I knew we were lying on our backs on my bed, still only partially dressed, staring up at the ceiling, laughing and talking about the past week, about all the things we'd done on those crazy two days last week, about how all the world had changed.

"I'm gonna miss you," he said finally, after there had been silence for a few minutes and I had been about to drift into sleep. I twisted my head around and looked at him.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Will."

"Even wiv' NEST, we ain't gonna be seein' each other too often, kiddo."

"Yeah," I said. "I know."

"Might be a while."

"Mm."

"We might not get another chance to be alone."

I'd have been an idiot to not know what was about to happen. He was leaning forward, his eyes intense and his lips parted. My blood felt like it was on fire and it was difficult to think with my heart pounding as loud as it was. I leaned in, too.

We met in the middle. His lips were soft and parted, his breath warm. Fire shot through my body.

He moved closer to me, a hand on my face, kissing me slowly and sweetly, like he could feel the way my heart was pounding. I was shaking, almost as much as I had a week ago after running from Megatron.

"Kat," he breathed, pulling back just slightly.

And then it all changed.

My eyes snapped open and I saw him, staring at me, the same fire in his eyes that I felt in mine. He grabbed me by the hips and swiveled my body around and then swung a leg over so that he was on top of me, his hands grasping my arms, kissing me fiercely.

It was hoooooooootttt.

My hands roved over his face, his body, his back, grasping at the hem of his shirt and pulling it up over his head and then he did the same to me.

I wasn't thinking clearly. Alcohol was a fuel to the fire that was burning at every inch of me and his hands, rough and hard and scarred, were now tender and gentle and passionate.

He paused, breathing heavily, his breath hot on my ear.

"Kat," he said.

"Holy crap," I said, and he chuckled, his voice low.

"Kat, I'm- I'm married. I can't-"

"Goddamn," I groaned, leaning my head back. He sighed one last time and rolled off of me.

"That was pretty freaking awesome," I said flatly a few minutes later. He laughed.

"Yeah it was. Hey-" he rolled over onto his stomach, still shirtless, and looked down at me. "Things aren't gonna get awkward between us because of this, okay?"

"Psh," I flapped a hand at him, trying to pretend my heart wasn't pounding, that I wasn't still on fire. "Of course not."

We talked a little more, laughed a little more, and he left about fifteen minutes later, leaving me to crawl under the blankets and stare, wide-eyed, at the door.

I didn't tell him that that had been my first kiss.

-

"You're not coming with me," I said firmly to the humming silver car in front of me as I tossed the bag in the back. It was very early in the morning on Saturday, exactly a week from the showdown at Mission City. It wasn't even light out yet.

"I know," said the car. "I'm taking you home."

"And you're not _staying_ with me."

"Ya, actually, I am." The car was exasperated.

"Dude-"

"Drop it, human."

"Fine."

The car thrummed in victory and I kicked his wheel. The horn honked.

"Oh, grow up."

Then started the procession of hugs, the promises to text, to keep each other updated, the "I'm gonna miss you so much!"-es, all the things that go along with happy goodbyes.

The bots weren't really sure how to hug me and some of them, like Ironhide, responded a little too enthusiastically, bruising my ribs.

Secretary Keller- whom I'd begun to regard as a grandfather- promised to keep me updated with NEST. Sam hugged me, awkwardly, and I took pictures with Mikaela to show all the guys at my school. Well, actually, I took pictures with all of them or at least of them.

Lennox and Simmons were last in line. Lennox held me just a little too long, his chin resting over my shoulder as we rocked back and forth.

"Take care of yourself, kiddo."

"Will do, cap'n." I took a step back with a grin and he laughed at me before punching me lightly in the shoulder.

"See ya 'round, soldier."

I found Simmons last and stood in front of him, slightly awkward. It was going to be a long time before I saw him again, I knew, and I didn't really want to leave without saying goodbye.

He gave me an odd, jerking nod. "Nice knowin' ya, kid- Katty."

I grinned at him, a shark's grin. "You too, Seymour."

He stuck a hand out for me to shake. I grabbed it after a second and pulled myself close to him, hugging him tightly around the middle. He stiffened, then relaxed, his arms wrapping around me, patting me on the back of the head.

The man smelled heavenly. And he was warm, and firm, and so comforting, and I closed my eyes, a stupid smile on my face as my cheek pressed into his chest-

"Yeah, yeah," he said gruffly, pushing me away a minute later. He eyed me, his lips twitching slightly.

"How many other old men are ya gonna annoy to the point of insanity before we meet each other again?" he asked me, his lips twitching slightly. I nudged him.

"Reg, you were already insane."

At that, he laughed out loud, wrapping an arm around my neck and ruffling my hair.

A few minutes later I was sitting in Jazz's passenger seat, a bag filled with guns and passports and licenses and letter thrown in the backseat.

"You ready?" asked Jazz, his voice coming from everywhere. I twisted around in my backseat to see everyone, robots, humans, adults and kids, soldiers and civilians, grinning and waving goodbye. I waved back, grinning widely, and winked at Simmons, who just shook his head. Jazz's engine revved as the door to the base warehouse opened and then we shot out into the night before the dawn.

Still smiling, I twisted around, facing the endless road in the desert, settling into the comfortable seats, thinking of how exciting my life was going to be.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"C'mon Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson

A/N: The long awaited make-out. I had a really hard time this chapter, don't know why. And this is the last of most of the characters we're gonna be seeing for a coupla a chapters; the next two or three will be OCs. But there will also be Jazz, who more than makes up for the lack of everyone else :)

Love,

Sarah


	11. Tiny And Tinny

_**I'm Eighteen, Officer, I Swear** _**by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**

_For so long I tried to reach you  
I know I'm almost there  
I'm close enough for you to see_

That you've been hiding in the shadows  
Have you forgotten how we used to dream  
well let me remind you  
The light doesn't blind you at all  
It just helps you see  
Can you see  
You have become beautiful

**Chapter Eleven: Tiny And Tinny**

"Ya want somthin' t' eat, human?"

I was staring at the flat desert outside my window zooming by. Soft music floated out of Jazz's speakers. The sky was purple.

"Don't think anything's out here, Jazz. Unless you weirdos eat cacti, or something."

"What, you don't?"

He sped up and said, "We'll be in a city in about an hour. I'll getcha somethin' t' eat then, alright?"

"Fine wiv' me."

"You alright?"

I hesitated, thinking of Lennox. " 'S just weird. Th' past week has been so amazing and now it's just back to boring life."

He chuckled. "It's not gonna be the same, kiddo. Trust th' Jazzman. Ev'rythin's gonna change."

"Good," I said decisively, stretching out with my hands behind my head and my feet on the dashboard, much to Jazz's chagrin.

-

An hour later I was munching on Hardee's whilst Jazz, now in both car-form and holoform, sat next to me, inside himself, and drove.

I didn't even try to comprehend it. I didn't have the mental capabilities, especially not this early in the morning.

He really was ridiculously attractive, his inhumanly bright eyes vibrant against his dark skin. His face was chiseled, his eyelashes long and thick and his lips full. I really liked his lips. I actually had a hard time looking away from them, to be completely honest.

"Ya checking me out?" he asked me, smirking.

"A little. Does it bother you?"

"Not at all, babygirl," he said smugly.

That particular nickname made me think of Simmons- which had me in a semi-depressed mood, once again. Jazz noticed.

"Kiddo. Hey, wha's up?"

"Nothing," I mumbled, my cheek pressed against the window. It was starting to rain.

That was just dandy.

"You're lying."

"You're a robot."

There was a pause. "Touche. C'mon, Katty, just tell me what's up. Is it a man?"

"Actually, it's an armadillo."

"… the hell?"

He'd looked it up and was now looking at me with horror. I snorted.

"Sarcasm, dude. Yeah, it's a guy, but it doesn't really matter anymore. 'S not like I'm gonna be seeing him anytime soon again…"

He looked at me, hard, before proclaiming confidently, "Y' need coffee."

"Jazz, forreal, I'm fine-"

"Nope, we're getting' coffee."

"Jazz-"

"Oh, shut up, human, and enjoy it, will yeh?"

"Aye, aye."

Fighting back a grin, I did as I was told as he pulled off the highway and into a podunk little place. He even opened my door for me, which was adorable and kind of made my stomach flip because um hi the boy was fiiiine.

"Well, aren't you the gentleman," I snarked. He choked and stood up a little straighter, offering me an arm and adopting a British accent.

"Your servant, milady."

"You are a looser."

"And you're short."

We entered the dinky little place and Jazz bought me a frappacino and himself a cappacino.

"You wanna drink in you- um, the car?"

He cackled before sliding next to me in the booth. "Nah, this'll work just fine."

I looked out the window to the car, the headlights of which winked at me.

"That is pretty damn weird," I said, and Jazz elbowed me, still cackling, and I swear his car form shook slightly with laughter.

-

We'd been driving for about six hours when the police car began tailing us. Jazz looked at me quizzically.

"You got a criminal past ya neglected t' mention?"

"Well, there mighta been this one time when I was at Sea World…."

I twisted in my seat to get a look at the cop and saw that he looked familiar- and that he was flickering. Mustache + flickering body + police car = Barricade.

"Oh, shit."

"What?" asked Jazz.

"Dude, I don't think that car's human."

The Jazz next to me disappeared and I was thrown back against my seat as he sped up rapidly.

"Hold onto your hair, kid," came Jazz's voice from all around me.

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, "I'm sure that'll keep me safe-"

There was an echoing BANG and I froze, my eyes widening. I hadn't heard that sound for a week.

We were being shot at.

"Oh, shnazztackles."

"Bless you."

I punched the release button on my seat belt and threw myself in the backseat, unzipping my bag with steady hands and drawing out a gun- a very large gun. Jazz, reading my mind, opened up the door on the left of the car. I grabbed the "oh shit" handle with my left hand and, hanging out of the car, fired off two shots at Barricade. Both hit him and the car stopped moving. I swung back inside and sat in the backseat, panting and staring in front of me, wide eyed.

"That," I said slowly, "Was. AWESOME! I feel like a female James Bond!"

"Wiv' boobs!"

"That goes under the 'female', genius."

"We are the best team ever!" shouted Jazz, reappearing as I scrambled to get back in the passenger seat. We grinned at each other, as excited as kids on Christmas.

"Oh my God, we are beasts-"

"-we took him out in about a minute-"

"-do you think we should call base-"

"- I'm shaking so much right now-"

"-that might be the coffee-"

"-seriously, I'm so excited I may have wet my pants!"

I grinned at Jazz and he stared back at me in slight disgust.

"Joke, dude. And yeah, I do think we should call base."

"Alright."

There was a beeping and then a humming. I looked over at him, my cheeks beginning to hurt from grinning so much.

"We kicked so much ass just then."

"Jazz?" came Optimus' rumbling voice from Jazz's speakers. Jazz immediately irrupted into the story, speaking so quickly it was difficult to understand him.

"Prim you'll never guess what happened we were just driving and then we were being tailed by a crop-"

"-cop-"

"- and Tiny noticed that the sonova bitch is flickerin'-"

"-like a hologram-"

"- and so I get us the hell outta that joint-"

"- and the jerk starts shootin' at us-"

"-so goddamn Rambo grabs the huge-ass gun an' hangs outta the car and puts two in 'im-"

"- and we are the best team ever!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Prime?"

"So you were attacked by a Decepticon," he rumbled, "but took care of it?"

"Less interestin' than our version, but yeah."

"We figured y'all should know," I said, and Prime sighed.

"Yes. I'm glad you told us. If anything else occurs, inform us immediately."

"Will do, Prime."

"And Jazz," he sounded amused, "Katty, you two did very well."

There was a click and Jazz and I looked at each other, smug and smirking, before high-fiving vigorously.

"Oh yes," he said, facing the road in front of us. "We are going to get along juuuust fine."

-

Once we reached Tennessee, we stopped at a gas station- even though Jazz whined and moaned about how much he hated human petrol- and I took the opportunity, held my breath, and called my mom.

"Mom?" I said warily. There was a pause.

"Katie?"

"I'll be home in just a few hours."

Another pause. When she spoke again, her voice was icy and angry and I winced and turned into a little ball of _ohshnazztackles._

"We'll talk when you get here."

"Mom, I-"

"You are in so much trouble."

"I don't doubt it, but there was a really, really good reason, and I'll explain it all when I get home, I've got clearance now-"

"Clearance? What the hell does a sixteen year old need _clearance_ for?"

There was a redneck watching me out of the corner of her eye.

_Well um you see there was this incident involving aliens, one of which is coming to live with me, and I kinda sorta maybe made out with a married dude._

"Maybe we should talk about this when I get home."

"Fine."

"I love you, momma."

"…"

"Love you, mommy!"

She sighed, then laughed. "Love you too, sweetie."

"See you in about two hours."

"See you."

I hung up, feeling much better, and then there were arms wrapping around my waist. I froze, turn between, 'okay I really hope that this is Jazz' and 'he's really freaking attractive' and 'killsmash'.

"I'm just doin' this," said Jazz, "cause there's a coupla rednecks outside plannin' on hittin' on ya, and they're watching us now."

"Are they hot?"

"If you think beer guts are attractive, they perfect specimens of the male sex."

"Ooh baby."

"… you are odd."

I turned around and he held my hand, keeping up the façade. He was right; those men were…. Ugh. Let's just say they made Secretary Keller look like Johnny Depp.

Once Jazz and I were safely in the car we glanced at each other and burst out laughing as he stepped on the gas, zooming us out of there.

-

My entire family, plus friends from school and church, was out in the lawn when I got home. They had a banner. They had food.

"If this is trouble, I'm running away more often," I told Jazz.

They were all laughing and talking, until the sexy little car pulled into the driveway and they saw me, with freshly healed cuts on my face, and the unbelievably beautiful Jazz, who was waving and grinning like a movie star, and not steering. They stopped cheering and stared.

"Oh, shit," I said. Jazz cackled, rubbing his hands together.

"Ooh, this is gonna be fun!"

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Become" by the Goo Goo Dolls.

A/N: I'm gonna be honest with you, guys. I love this story, I really do, and I want to finish it like mad and I completely intend on it, but I feel like it's loosing direction. I'm trying to pull it together (and, after all, this story is supposed to just be a collection of connected one-shots since it spans two years) and I'm trying to bring back the crazy, light-hearted, pervy humor, but I just feel like it's not working. I am not abandoning it! I really want to finish this and I feel like I owe you guys more than dropping it just cause I've hit a block. But what I am gonna ask you to do is be patient with me. Updates might slow down a little and chapters might get shorter as I try to get back into my groove. And if you have any ideas, pleas, feel free to share them with me! (In fact, I'd really appreciate it :))

Thanks in advance.

Sarah.


	12. Well, Ain't That Precious

_**I'm Eighteen, Officer, I Swear**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**

_So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn  
There's vultures and thieves at your back  
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies  
That you make up for all that you lack  
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time  
It's easier to believe  
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness  
That brings me to my knees_

In the arms of the Angel far away from here 

**Chapter Twelve: Well, Ain't That Precious**

"Katty! You're back!"

"Who's the hunk?"

"What the hell happened to your face-"

"You are in so much trouble, young lady-"

"-your make-up work is gonna suck-"

"-glad I'm not you-"

"Missed you too," I grinned, trying to hug everyone at once. It didn't work. Jazz was standing back, surrounded by my traitorous female friends, and he seemed to be greatly enjoying the attention.

"Here," said my priest, "I'll take this." I passed the bag over to him and kept on with the hugging.

"What happened to your face?" asked my mom, pointing at one of the freshly-healed scars on my jawline from Mission City.

"There was an unfortunate incident involving a penguin and a cupcake-"

Code for: I can't tell you now. She stared at me searchingly then glanced to Jazz, who nodded gravely.

"I saw the whole thing."

My parents rounded on him.

"And who are you?" asked my dad, very rudely. Jazz was about to answer when we noticed that a peculiar hush had fallen over the room. I turned around to see that my bag was now open- and my guns exposed, dark and deadly and gleaming. Everyone was looking at me in horror. Jazz frowned.

"Well, shit."

"This is very easily explained," I said, raising my hands, a near-panicking smile on my face. My friends and family said nothing, just stared at me in varying degrees of shock and disgust and surprise. My two best girlfriends looked proud. I sighed.

"You guys might wanna sit down."

We all got situated, sitting on the couches and bring in chairs from the kitchen, and once everyone was ready, with bowls of popcorn and everything, I began, very slowly and very carefully explaining what I could. Jazz watched me intently, leaning against the fireplace with his arms crossed.

"Okay, the most important thing is that none of this leaves this room at all, alright?" I looked at all of them, hard, being 100% serious for the first time in several years, because I knew what was at stake here. "Dead serious here, guys, this is national security we're talking 'bout."

They all nodded, some of them more slowly than others. My eyes lingered on them, wondering if I'd have to kick them out of my 'welcome home' party. They eventually nodded, too.

"Right, so here's what went down…"

I told them most of it, starting from my ill-fated nap and ending with the week I spent at base. I left out names and the gory details and I didn't tell them about NEST or the personal stuff, and I definitely didn't tell them that the gorgeous, dark skinned man leaning next to me was actually a sixteen-foot-high silver alien, but I told them enough. They all stared at me in awe.

"That," said my friend Jason, a football player, "is so awesome!"

I cracked a grin. Chatter resumed, now questions for me and Jazz, who we were saying was my bodyguard.

My family, of course, I'd tell the full story to later, but for now, this would have to do.

-

"Alright guys, I'm exhausted, everyone out!"

People tramped out, hugging me one last time, yada yada, all that fun stuff. I grabbed my two best girlfriends by the backs of their shirts and told them that under no circumstances were they to leave.

Once the last of them trudged away, I sat my family and my two girls down and Jazz and I told them the real story. With sound effects, and Jack Sparrow esque hand movements… everything. Simmons and Lennox I glossed over, winking at Holly and Felicia to let them know there'd be more to that later. Jazz rolled his eyes.

Soon enough it was us three girls (and Jazz, of course) up in the bonus room upstairs, shrieking and giggling as I showed them the pictures on my camera while music played in the background and we munched on various munchy items.

"Oh my god," squealed Felicia as she regarded the picture of the laughing Lennox, "he is so fine!"

I cackled uncontrollably.

"And… that's Simmons?"

I glanced at the picture. He was glaring at me, his mouth open, probably telling me off, but there was a glimmer of amusement in his black eyes.

"Yep," I said cheerfully. "That's good ole Seymour."

It was ridiculous how looking at a picture of him twisted my stomach up and made it flip over at the same time.

Holly said nothing.

"He's uuuuuuug_ly_," said Felicia. Jazz let out one loud 'HAH' before clapping his hands over his mouth.

"Was tha' me?"

"Alright, he's not the most attractive guy-"

"-that's an understatement-"

"But he's beautiful!"

Holly stared at me. "There is something wrong with you."

Jazz snorted again. "Kat, I thought ya said these two knew ya well?"

"That was before I started kickin' alien ass."

"Ah."

-

The bright, flashing clock said that it was eleven at night. It lied. Holly and Felicia had long since conked off into sleep and Jazz had sort of…. fizzled out when he fell asleep.

I was lying flat on my back staring up at the beamed ceiling and thinking about everything. Needless to say, I couldn't sleep.

Groaning, I threw the heavy comforter off of me and rose to my feet, making my way down the hallway and down the stairs, knowing where I was going without really thinking about it.

The night was windy and clear, the stars shining brightly, Jazz gleaming under the moon. I opened the door and crawled into the backseat, curling up on the leather with tears in my eyes. There was a soft and increasing hum coming through the seats and then soft music came through the speakers.

Then there was suddenly a warmth at my back and arms wrapped around me. It wasn't romantic at all, and that made it so much sweeter.

"You alright, tiny?"

" 'M jus' dandy, tinny."

He chuckled. "I know what'll cheer you up."

The car revved very quietly to life and I tried to sit up but Jazz pushed me gently back down.

"Just relax, human. I got this."

We were driving now, and it was good that it was late, seeing as it would have looked like no one was driving the car, what with Jazz's holoform being in the backseat with me.

"What're we doing?" I mumbled once we stopped. He shushed me.

"Jus' _wait_, tiny."

The music kept playing and then water was splashed on the car and I had the impression of being underwater. I smiled as Jazz- the car- hummed happily.

"A car wash."

"A car wash."

He was right- it worked. I found myself drifting to sleep as the water washed over the car, with Jazz's arms around me comfortably.

He sighed into my hair. "Tha's right, tiny. Jus' sleep."

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Arms Of An Angel" by Sarah McLachlan, Katty and Jazz.

A/N: It's short, I know. The next chapter's longer and the action is gonna start picking up soong. Thank you for all the encouraging reviews I got on the last chapter! It really means a lot to me.

Love,

Sarah


	13. Normalcy Is All Relative

_**I'm Eighteen, Officer, I Swear**_** by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**_Don't give up  
It's just the weight of the world  
When your heart's heavy  
I will lift it for you_

Everybody wants to be understood  
Well I can hear you  
Everybody wants to be loved  
Don't give up  
Because you are loved 

**Chapter Thirteen: Normalcy Is All Relative**

"Do you think they're sleeping together?"

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"I'm awake, you know."

"Oh."

"Good morning, beautiful!"

I snored loudly with my mouth open, my face pressed into my couch, one arm dangling off of it. I could hear Holly and Felicia and Jazz conversing, but I was so tired and zoned out that it didn't really register-

_Waitjustonemotherlovin'minute._

"Did you just ask if I'm sleeping with a sixteen foot tall metal alien?" I asked with my eyes still closed and my cheek still squashed up against the couch.

I needed coffee. The sooner, the less people got hurt.

"Why not? I would be."

"Dude," I said, still immobile, "that would hurt so freakin' bad."

"Nah," said Jazz, amusement plain in his voice, "I'd be gentle."

"And now I have really disturbing metal images in my head," said Holly cheerfully.

"Well, if you wouldn't look in mirrors so often-"

"Oh, haha."

-

It was Sunday. My family had left us alone when they left for church and for that I was exceedingly grateful. We spent the day lounging around my house in pjs and drinking tea and watching Disney movies- we had Jazz singing along in the first five minutes of _the Little Mermaid_.

He didn't mention last night, and neither did I. I didn't really feel like talking about just how much I already missed Lennox, and Simmons, and Sam, and the bots, and Maggie, and Mikaela…

And I had school tomorrow. After a week of none of it, after a week of excitement and adrenaline and things and people that shouldn't exist…well. I wasn't exactly biting my nails to go back.

But, whether I dreaded it or not, my first day back at school after saving the world came quickly enough, although I did enjoy a power trip from having a gun. And it was nice to not have any make-up work or absence shit to deal with.

_Thank you, Secretary Keller._

Of course people wanted to know where I'd been and what the hell had happened to me (since I was an idiot, I'd worn a short sleeved shirt and there were still scratches on my arms) and all that fun stuff, but I was a very, very good liar. Most of my excuses involved penguins and the occasional cupcake. People began to get the hint- that I may tell the fake story cheerfully, but the truth was stayin' a secret.

After the bell rang I shot out of my AP English 3 class, running for my locker before grabbing my brother and walking very quickly out to the parking lot.

'Cept this time I wasn't looking for the purple Chrysler. No, now I was looking for a sexy silver Solstice. And it was extremely easy to find, seeing as how it had a ring of girls around it.

And just why became clear seconds later.

Jazz was in holoform, leaning against himself with his arms crossed over his chest and his puffy hair pulled back in a ponytail, his bright blue eyes hidden behind dark shades. It wasn't hard to see why he was surrounded by girls- I'd freaking designed the guy and I was getting a little hot just looking at him.

He saw me and his smug, 'I know I'm hot' grin widened. I couldn't keep a grin off my face, either. My brother sighed.

"Great."

" '_Scuse_ me, ladies." Jazz gently pushed his way through the crowd and wrapped an arm around my waist, that sexy grin still on his face.

"Wassup, babe?"

"That a pen in your pocket or are ya just happy t' see me?" I asked him, grinning. He smirked.

"Well-"

"Wait," said one of the girls, looking so rapidly between Jazz and I I thought her false eyelashes would fall off. "Are you two, like, dating?"

"Nah," said Jazz, shrugging. "We're just best friends-"

"-who are so comfortable with each other-"

"- we occasionally do each other."

They stared at_ him_, tall and dark and unbelievably gorgeous, and then at _me_, short and blonde and grinning.

Jazz slapped my butt as I walked around the front of the car and slid into the passenger seat before climbing into himself. My brother took the backseat, already with a book out, shaking his golden, curly head. Jazz and I looked at each other as he started up and we both burst into laughter, the car shaking.

-

He transformed that night in my backyard, much to the awe of my family. My youngest sibling- the seven-year-old Seraphim, who had a toy of Optimus Prime- stared up at him in awe.

"Wow," said my little sister, Naomi.

My parents said nothing, just craned their necks back to watch him with their jaws dropped. I clambered into his hand, despite my mom's cries of "be careful!" and Jazz lifted me up so that I could look into his real face. I put my hands on either side of his metal head and he thrummed happily, his eyes sparkling.

"I almost like you better like this," I said. He cackled, squeezing me lightly.

"Hey, you like being higher off the ground- hey."

I'd punched him.

"Oh shut up, ya wuss. Hurt me more than it did you- wow. That actually did hurt."

"_Jazz. Come in."_

"Yo yo, you talking t' th' Jazzman, alright. Prime, that you?"

"_Yes."_

The sound was coming out of Jazz's chest. I stared down.

"That is so darn cool."

"_Katty, is that you?"_

"Sure is, Prime-o."

"_Good. I'm afraid we have a situation."_

Despite the fact that I knew this meant I was going to be missing a lot more school, and that I'd come back with a lot more bruises, I grinned.

"Yes."

A deep chuckled floated out of Jazz's chest. _"Not that kind of situation, Katty. At least, not for you. Jazz, we've received word that Barricade has followed the two of you to Katty's hometown."_

"Shit," said Jazz. My stomach suddenly felt cold.

"_My sentiment exactly._ _Jazz- this one falls on you. Katty, I do not want you getting involved."_

"Aw, c'mon, Prime-"

He laughed again. _"You will have your chance, little one. But this isn't it."_

I tried very, very hard not to sulk. "Can I at least help Jazz find him?"

There was a second of static as he thought and Jazz and I looked at each other.

"_Yes. You may come in handy to lure him into the open, in fact. But Jazz, you are to __**engage**__ him alone."_

"Got it, Prime."

"_Keep me updated."_

"Will do, sir."

"Aye, aye."

"_Prime out."_

Jazz and I looked at each other, a sixteen foot tall silver mech and a five foot tall human in a backyard in Tennessee under a clear night sky with my family around his feet, their necks craning up, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Darn," I said, a grin spreading across my face. "I really wanted to shoot something."

-

Despite Prime's words, nothing happened in the two weeks that followed. At least, not to me- I returned home one day to find that Jazz had a dent, but he refused to tell me how it'd happened.

I found myself slipping back into the routine. School, homework, sleep… and then again. Jazz made a difference, he made me remember that the routine had changed, even if just a little bit, but things were now basically back to normal.

And I hated it.

I found myself beginning to almost pick fights at school. I needed some way to get the adrenaline out, someway to keep things exciting.

And Jazz wasn't happy about it.

"Hey," he said one afternoon, his voice oddly serious. "We gotta talk, Tiny."

I shrugged. "Alright."

I got in him and we drove. He'd found a place- an old abandoned field, surrounded by trees- where he could transform without being found, which, obviously, came in handy.

Instead of picking me up, like he normally did, he sat me in a tree about eye level for him.

"Jazz? What's goin' on?"

"I'm worried bout you, kiddo," he said finally, his big blue optics blinking at me. "Ever since we got back, ya ain't been the same. You've lost your oomf. Now, I ain't yer parents, I'm yer _friend_, but I gotta say, Kat, all the stuff that's been goin' on witcha- all these… all the episodes at school yeh've been having… ya' gotta knock it off, kid. 'S dangerous. Yer gonna clue someone in that there's more goin' on here, an' that can't happen. Ya got me?"

He was right. I knew it; I was acting like a spoiled kid. I'd been in a funk since we'd left base, and it was time to grow up and snap the fuck out of it.

I nodded decisively, resolving in that moment that things were going to change. "Yeah. I gotcha."

He looked at me searchingly for a minute, his optics boring into me, before his metal face spilt into a smile.

"Good. Anyway, I got some news that might cheer ya up."

"You're having a gender switching surgery?"

He stared at me, then gave a happy bark of laughter. "Tha's my girl. Tha's the Katty I been missin'. And no, tha's not till next month. My good news is I've come up wiva plan to get good ole Cade Cade out in th' open."

A grin spread over my face.

"I'm listenin'."

" 'S gonna be dangerous."

"I've been bored."

"You'll probably get some more scars."

"They make me feel tough."

"Alright. So we get a baby goat…"

"For real?"

"No."

"Darn."

"It's actually a baby armadillo."

"… I love you."

**TBC...

* * *

**

"You Are Loved" by Josh Groban, Katty And Jazz.

A/N: I really like this chapter. It's really short, but I just love the way Katty and Jazz play off of each other. It seriously amuses me to no end.

Love,

Sarah


	14. The Adventures of Humphrey And BonQuiQui

_**I'm Eighteen, Officer, I Swear**_** by Teenage Anomaly**

* * *

_Though I'd like to be the girl for him  
And cross the sea and land for him  
On milky skin my tongue is sand until  
The ever distant band begins to play_

He's my Brandy Alexander  
Always gets me into trouble  
But that's another matter  
Brandy Alexander  
He's my Brandy Alexander  
Always gets me into trouble  
But that's another matter  
Brandy Alexander

**Chapter Fourteen: The Adventures of Humphrey And Bon QuiQui, Part I**

"Ya know, earthlin', I done some crazy shit in my time, but this is pretty intense. I look ridiculous."

"Oh nonsense, I think it's working for you."

"_Workin'_ fer me? An' could yer jeans be any tighter? Ya gonna take outta 'Con or go work the corner?"

"Both. Oh, and don't forget, if you wanna address me by name, call me 'Bon QuiQui'."

"…."

"And you're 'Humphrey'."

"…"

"Hey, it was your plan in the first place!"

I grabbed my can of black hair spray and went into the bathroom, Jazz following behind me, clutching the front of his extremely baggy pants to keep them in place. I regarded the both of us in the mirror.

"Well, we do look pretty unrecognizable."

Jazz snorted as I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my neck, squeezing my eyes shut as I doubled over, holding the can of spray above my head.

"Hold your breath, Jazzy."

"Why- _holy freaking_-!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and began spraying my hair as Jazz coughed and gasped over dramatically behind me. The smell of aerosol engulfed us and I began to feel rather loving, and rather giggly.

"Primus, woman, yer gonna kill me!"

"Jazz, have I told you lately that I love you?"

"You don't tell me often enough!" he was coughing and clutching onto the white marble sink for support. "What's wrong wiv' me?" he whined, studying his fingers. "Ev'rythin's changin' colors!"

"Ya probably have a really weak resistance t' this stuff, bein' an alien, an' all."

I continued spraying until the can was empty and my hair was jet black. I shook my head a few times and then ran my fingers, already dyed black, through my hair, which was surprisingly not all hard and gross. Jazz, eyes still watering looked at me quizzically.

"Whaddya know. Ya actually look good wiv' black hair."

"Psh. I look good with _any_ hair."

Giving my head one final shake, I headed back into my room to complete the outfit with a shirt that showed way too much of my stomach, a tiny leather jacket, big hoop earrings, heavy mascara and several bracelets. Jazz, in a hoodie and extremely baggy pants, stared at me.

"Aint ya takin' this a little t' far? I mean, ya look good for an evolved monkey, but-"

"Dude, it's not every day I getta dress up like a hoodlum. Let me have my fun."

My mom stared at us, raised an eyebrow one we got downstairs, and said, her voice as calm as if she was commenting on the weather, "Nice and classy, I see."

"Well, we do try."

"Going out to vandalize some cars?"

I snorted and Jazz whacked me before putting an elbow on my shoulder and using me as an armrest. I whistled and elbowed him in the side, eliciting an 'oomf'. "You know us so well, Mrs. Sherman."

He glared at me and rubbed his side. I smiled angelically back at him.

My mom couldn't resist a grin at our antics. "I hope you know I'm not paying your bail if you make the wrong person mad."

"Mom, do you really think I could make someone mad enough to throw us in jail?"

"Without a doubt."

"Please, Mrs. Sherman?" asked Jazz, giving her the most pathetic puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen. I rolled my eyes, trying to shove my hands into my pockets before realizing that my jeans were way too tight for that sort of nonsense.

My mom's lips twitched. "Just for you, Jazz. My jailbait daughter can spend the night in prison."

I shook my head, grabbing Jazz's hand. "Geez mom, love you too. C'mon, Robo Boy. We gotta Decpticon t' piss off."

-

We zoomed down the highway, windows rolled down, laughing and talking excitedly, armed with spray paint, glitter, eggs and guns, going over the plan multiple times.

"You're sure he'll be there," I asked for the fiftieth time as I accidentally opened a canister of glitter. I gagged as it spewed all over me, blinking rapidly and sputtering.

"Yep. You've got glitter in your eyelashes."

"Shut up. And you're sure he'll be in recharge?"

"Yep. It's in your hair too, tiny."

"I'm ignoring you. So all we have to do is mess him up, you explode-"

"- there's glitter on your lips, and I ain't gonna _explode_-"

"- he wakes up, I duck 'n' cover, you tranq him, and then NEST comes in an' carts 'im off?"

"Yep. They're just waitin' fer the call."

"Sweet. Let's do this!"

It was near dusk when we finally reached the old, broken down barn. Jazz and I climbed out silently and then the car transformed into Jazz's bipedal form, who was vibrating with excitement. I poked his foot and he poked me back, very gently, with a finger as long as my forearm. The holo Jazz came up to me and handed me a .9 mm.

"Won't do much good," he said, shrugging, "but it'll keep 'im distracted till I can get to ya."

I nodded and stuck the gun in the holster I had on under the jacket. I looked up at real! Jazz.

"You ready?"

He nodded. "He'll come chasing after you," he said, his voice rumbling more than it did when it came out of a human chest, "an' I'll be waitin' for him."

I resisted the urge to cackle madly. Instead, holo Jazz and I set off through the darkening forest to the barn.

"Y' nervous?" Jazz asked me as we approached the stationary police car.

"A little. More excited."

"Jus' don't get too cocky. 'S how rookies get killed."

"Who you callin' a rookie?"

" 'S what I'm talkin' bout, Kat. I'm bein' serious. There's a time fer jokin' around and a time for getting' in an' getting' out, ya got it?"

"…"

"Kat?"

"That's what she said."

He glowered at me, his bright blue eyes flashing angrily. I batted my glitter-covered eyelashes at him.

"I'm sorry! I couldn't resist!"

He just shook his head before tossing me a can of pink spray paint, which brought back great memories of spray-painting Ironhide. I giggled as I began painting on Barricade's butt.

Except Ironhide hadn't killed me when he'd woken up. Well, he tried to, but I'd hidden…

….in a closet….

….with Simmons…

A stupid, happy smile drifted across my face and I accidentally sprayed Jazz.

"Hey! Watch it, will yeh, Ka- _Bon QuiQui_?"

"Oh, sorry, _Humphrey_," I whispered, hastily averting my aim. Jazz just shook his head and went back to egging Barricade's windows.

"Crazy humans."

"I heard that."

"Good!" he hissed. I stood back and proudly surveyed my work.

"What did ya write?" asked Jazz, bending over to put egg and glitter in Barricade's rims.

"Nice ass."

"Ah."

"No, I'm telling you, you have a nice ass."

"Don't I, though?" He winked at me.

I went around to the passenger window and sprayed a nice little heart.

Then I did a smiley face.

And a bunny.

"Oh, he's gonna be pissed," said Jazz, appearing at my shoulder.

"Ain't you supposed to be exploding soon? That's also what she said, by the way."

"Haha-"

BOOM.

Jazz and I both froze as the trees and the entire earth around us shook. For a moment, there was no reaction. Then Barricade's headlights snapped on and I winced.

"Shit."

"Run!"

Jazz grabbed my hand and we were off, laughing hysterically as Barricade revved up, chasing behind us. I tripped over something, probably my own foot, and would have fallen flat on my face if Jazz hadn't dragged me onwards by my wrist.

I gave a wild cackle, the adrenaline rushing through my veins.

"The gun!" Jazz shouted.

"Oh, yeah-"

"Big help you are!"

"Oh, shush, you over-grown can opener!"

I grabbed the gun and flipped the safety off before twisting around to fire at Barricade. Took out the windshield first.

"How do ya like that, you lawn-mower?!"

The stinking bastard shot something at me which missed me by inches. It was probably a missile. I frowned.

"Sore looser!" I shouted back at him, firing a few more times.

"We're here!" Jazz shouted, leaping beyond the last few trees and disappearing. As the holo fizzled out, the sliver mech sprang to life, leaping to his feet gracefully.

"Get outta the way!' he shouted at me. I dived to my right as I emerged at full speed from the forest, rolling away as Barricade came charging through the trees, still in his car alt-mode.

It'd worked. He'd thought we were just two thugs, instead of what we really were.

I curled myself up as small as possible in a defensive position, my arms wrapped over my head.

"Kick his ass, Jazzy!"

He fired off two shots from the cannons on his arm and Barricade crumpled to the ground in a heap of metal, mid-transformation.

"Yeah, that's what I _thought_, ya Decepticon sonova bitch!"

"We good?" I called from my position on the ground. "Cause I'm kinda getting' friendly with th' ground here, and not in a good way. I mean, I think there's grass in my bra."

"Yeah, tiny, we good."

Before I could move, a big silver hand was wrapping around my waist and I was being lifted into the air. I blinked.

"Whoa. I just got very high, very fast."

Jazz's big blue optics blinked at me, his metal mouth stretched in a wide grin.

"We got 'im, tiny."

"Knew we would," I said confidently.

Jazz scoffed, and then the weirdest thing ever happened. He transformed- still holding me- and when he was done, I was sitting inside the silver solstice. It'd happened in about two seconds, leaving me very disconcerted. I whined.

"That really hurt my brain."

Jazz gave a bark of laughter. "Ain't hard t' do, darlin'."

"Oh, shut up, metalhead."

"You started it, blondie."

"Well-"

"I think we should call Optimus," he interrupted, his voice amused. I crossed my arms, though I was grinning.

"Maybe you should. I'm too stupid, apparently."

"Yeah, yer right. Yeh'd probably find a way t' offline me."

"Oh. Count on it, tinny."

He chuckled, and then-

"Prime, you there?"

"_Is the target immobilized?"_

"Immobilized and ready for transport!" said Jazz cheerfully. I could almost see Prime's big metal face breaking out into a wide smile.

"_Good. We'll be there in five. Katty, are you there?"_

"Ask Jazz. I'm too stupid to know for myself."

"_Jazz, did you offend the human?"_

"Oh, don't even get me started on the kinda names she calls me," said Jazz, amused and exasperated at the same time. In my endless maturity, I stuck my tongue out at the steering wheel.

My seatbelt suddenly zoomed over my chest and buckled itself in, very tightly.

"Best put that away unless yer gonna use it," said Jazz, his voice smarmy.

Optimus sighed.

-

Jazz and I got back home at about two in the morning. We'd been out painting the town with Optimus (or, more accurately, his holo) as it had taken several hours to get 'Cade ready to be mobilized. We'd made an odd group, what with me looking like the worst kind of prostitute, Jazz with pants sagging down to his knees, and then the Clive-Owen-look-a-like Prime, gorgeous and dignified even when with 'Humphrey' and 'Bon QuiQui'.

However, Optimus and Barricade and the military men who'd come out were now zooming their way back to base (bearing mine and Jazz's exuberant greetings) and Jazz and I were home, exhausted and, in my case, filthy and with black hair.

Jazz drove to the back of my yard, where there was a clearing about ten yards east of the creek, hidden from sight by trees but with an opening just the right size for Jazz to drive through. He'd taken to sleeping there in his bipedal form, since he was hidden from sight. I watched from the window on the landing of the stairs as the silver car disappeared into the trees and then I finished the trek upstairs and disappeared into the bathroom, singing loudly and obnoxiously in the shower until my sister trudged out of bed to kick the door and yell at me before sleep-walking back to her room and collapsing back into bed.

Suitably chastised, I returned to my shower with the same vigor but less vocals.

Once cleaned and dressed in my PJs, although my hair was still gray from the dye, I put on my flip-flops and crept outside.

"Shouldn't you be in bed, tiny?" asked Jazz, who was lying sprawled on his great silver back in the grass. I shrugged, climbing up him to lie on his chest.

"Too much adrenaline, huh?" he said knowingly.

"Got that right, shiny. It was fun, kickin' Decepticon ass, though."

"Always is."

"He looked pretty darn good when we were done wiv' I'im."

Jazz cackled. "I sho' don't wanna be the one on guard duty when 'Cade finds out what 'e looks like. Bastard always loved 'is own reflection."

" 'S pretty rich, Jazzy, coming from you," I said, poking him in the chest. He lifted his head up.

"Hey. What're ya sayin'?"

"Put it together, genius."

His head fell back to the ground with a thud and I knew he was smiling. "Don't know why I put up wiv' ya, I really don't."

"My endless grace and charm, not to mention my indefatigable class and beauty."

"… I didn't know there could be so much bullshit in one sentence."

I was beginning to drift off to sleep when he stirred.

"Listen, squishy, I don't mind if ya sleep wiv' me, but if you drool on me, we're through. Got it?"

"Shnazztackles, I should probably tell ya bout my gland problem, then-"

He craned his neck up and glared at me. "What?"

"Joke, shiny. Jeez. After being alive fer thousands 'a years, ya'd think a guy'd be able t' take a joke…" Yawning, I laid my head back down on his chest. He placed a big, warm hand over me, very gently, like I was a stuffed animal he was clutching to himself.

"Sweet dreams, little human."

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your wiring," I said, grinning sleepily, waiting for his reaction.

"…the _hell_?!"

-

Karen Sherman, once realizing her daughter was not in her bed, freaked out for a few minutes before remembering that her daughter's best friend was a sentient car. A car who, at the moment, was not in the driveway, which meant one of two things: a) the car and her daughter hadn't come home last night, in which case both of them would be in an enormous amount of trouble, or b) the car and her daughter were back in the clearing.

So Karen grabbed her robe and her shoes and walked out the back door into the gray, foggy morning.

She tramped across the wet grass to the clearing in the corner of the yard, the bottoms of her pants getting wet.

No, they were there. Jazz was lying on his back, a hand held to his chest, clutching something gently… something that had messy blonde hair and pink pajama bottoms and socks that didn't match.

Karen just shook her head, smiling fondly, before walking back up to the house, figuring she'd give the two another half hour of sleep before waking Katty up for school.

Thank God it was Friday. The girl was about to drop from exhaustion.

_And so was she_, thought Karen, crawling back into bed for a few extra minutes of sleep.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Brandy Alexander" by Fiest.

A/N. Told you there would be action. :) And there's even more coming up! Unfortunately, however, my fall break is ending on Monday, so updates are probably going to slow down significantly and that sucks, but it's life.

Kinda wanna talk about the song. Personally, I think Katty and Jazz have a bond that goes beyond anything romantic, just because of how similar they are. (Both funny, both very intelligent, soldiers, etc) But I also think that they might be a little bit in love with each other and they don't really know it. Plus the two of them are always gonna be getting each other into trouble, so the song is definitely perfect for them in that respect.

Now that I've given you something to think about...

Sarah.


	15. A Sight For Sore Eyes

_**I'm Eighteen, Officer, I Swear **_**by Teenage Anomaly

* * *

**_So arrogant  
your worst is the best  
it's so easy  
to make a fucked-up mistake  
and walk away  
just like it was  
or move away  
miles between us_

If i ever forget  
it was never so perfect  
such a boring story told  
you make me feel so old  
but confident

**Chapter Fifteen: A Sight For Sore Eyes**

AP American History may have been my favorite class, but that didn't mean I wasn't dozing off. I was sunk low in my chair, my arms crossed over my chest, my head tilted so far back it was on the desk of the person behind me.

I was sore. I was bruised. I was exhausted.

And I was _so damn happy_ about it.

"Katty," hissed Jason. I woke up with a shudder and a smack of my lips and looked and looked over at him, blinking.

"What'd ya wake me up for? I already got th' notes!" We were reviewing for a quiz, and as I'd aced every quiz so far in the year, I'd cut myself a break and decided to take a nap. Jason just shook his head, laughing, and I shifted positions in my seat, trying not to agitate the pretty spectacular bruise on my ribcage.

I'd just drifted off to sleep again and was dreaming of largish robots in tutus when the lunch bell rang. I sat bolt upright with a gasp, looking wildly around, my hand unconsciously reaching into my bag for my gun. Jason (and half of the other people in the room) gave me an odd look.

"Katty? Are you drinking coffee again?"

"No!" I said, rising to my feet, grabbing my purse but leaving my books.

"Ah."

"I'm doing meth now."

"Well, that explains it."

Still chattering about pointless things but ENJOYING IT, DARNIT, Jason and I made our way down to the cafeteria with our classmates and sat down at a table facing the entrance to the school. Jason pulled out his lunch and I pulled out… nothing, since I had no money and was too darn lazy to make myself a lunch in the mornings. I sat diagonally from Jason and as he munched on his sandwich, I let my head fall onto the table with a thud.

"That had to hurt," said Jason conversationally.

"That's what she said."

"Wouldn't that be a that's what _he_ said?"

"These are the deep philosophical questions we must ask ourselves."

I drifted in and out of sleep as the table slowly filled up with football players.

"Is she snoring?"

I resisted the urge to do just that.

"Just leave her alone."

I twitched and snorted.

"Who's that guy?"

"Oh, crap. Katty. Um, Katty-"

"If there isn't a giant alien about to eat me," I said loudly, "I don't care."

"Tha's below the belt, tiny."

I sat bolt upright and looked around wildly to see Jazz, smirking down at me with his hands shoved down his pockets and his hair pulled back, an orange visitor's sticker on his shirt. I stared at him. Half of the women in the cafeteria were staring at him. I didn't blame them.

"What in the name of all that is good 'n holy are ya doin' here?"

"Got a call," he said easily, still grinning. My eyes widened and I sat up straighter. He nodded, knowing what was going through my mind.

"School's over fer you, squishy."

"Thank god!"

I leapt to my feet, exhaustion gone, and grabbed my bag while grinning up at Jazz.

"Ya need t' get anythin' from yer locker?"

"Nah. 'S not like I'm gonna have the time t' do my homework anyway."

Jazz gave a bark of laughter, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the cafeteria.

I pulled my gun out once we were inside him and the holo dissipated as the engine revved. I rolled the window down and plugged my iPhone into his stereo system and we were off. I leaned back in the seat with a comfortable smile.

…. And then we drove past my house.

"Uh, Jazz?"

"Yeah?"

My neck was turning around, watching the street disappear. "We're not stoppin' at th' house?"

"No time, tiny," he quipped cheerfully. "We're going straight to the airport."

"The one in Nashville?"

"Yup."

"Jazz, I don't really know how to tell you this, but… you're headed to Franklin."

"Oh, shit!"

"It's alright," I said soothingly, patting the dash, "we can take you to a doctor, they have help for people like you-"

He did a U-turn and I grabbed the "oh shit" handle, screaming and laughing.

"Now, that's what I'm_ talking_ about!" I shouted gleefully as we zoomed in the opposite direction. "Mush!"

"I'll 'mush' you," he said.

-

We flew from Nashville to the base out in Nevada and there, surrounded by the 'bots and military men, was the biggest freaking plane I'd seen in my entire life. 'Course, considering it was gonna be transporting the bots, it kinda had to be huge.

Jazz's door opened and I climbed out and stretched, my shirt riding up to reveal my gun as I scanned the crowd for Lennox.

-

Simmons was exhausted. He was tired of being at the base, especially now that Katty had been gone, he was annoyed with everyone there, he was bitter about the loss of his job, and he was just at the point he wanted to go back home, to New York, lock himself in his apartment and not come out for at least a month. Probably more.

Thankfully, he was leaving today. Finally. As soon as he could find Keller and get the damn man's final okay-

His train of thought was cut off abruptly when he saw a very pretty blonde girl yawn and stretch, her shirt riding up to show her stomach and a gun shoved down the front of her pants. Simmons froze.

She was short. She was blonde. She had a gun, of all things, shoved down her pants. She wasn't wearing glasses, but he'd recognize those bight eyes and that wide smirk anywhere.

He watched as the car she'd climbed out of abruptly transformed into a relatively small sliver mech who dashed off to the other bots, all of whom welcomed him with open arms.

Katty just stood there, scratching her head, looking slightly uncomfortable, and Simmons had just made up his mind to go talk to her when he heard a joyful and very male shout of "Katty!"

The girl looked around, her face adorably bewildered, just as a man dressed in camo grabbed her up in a bear hug.

Simmons felt the urge to break something.

His quest for Keller forgotten, he watched as Lennox led her by the hand to a table full of gear. She disappeared behind a screen and when she came out a few minutes, she was a different girl completely. Her jeans were gone and so was her blue v-neck shirt. She had on pants likes Lennox's, a black tank with a black army jacket over it, combat boots, and her hair was pulled back into a business like pony-tail, although Simmons couldn't help but smile when he saw she'd kept the gun and the cross around her neck- although, come to think of it, he'd never seen her without that cross. He watched as Lennox talked to her, his face intense, gesturing to the weaponry. She couldn't take her eyes off of him and he, Simmons, couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

She really was beautiful. Her round face and big eyes with those long, dark lashes, her full-lipped shark's grin, her dark brows, her insane golden brown hair, her short little body, full of curves and energy and life and vigor, all made him feel as though his skin was on fire. And those _eyes_… he'd never seen her without her glasses on before this moment, and he couldn't look away from those bright, laughing, joking blue eyes. She was loud and funny and childlike and unbelievably sexy.

And way, _way_ too young for him.

He smiled, a smile of regret and fondness, all wrapped up in one facial expression.

"Simmons? I believe you were looking for me?" Simmons looked around to see the SecDef standing next to him, and nodded.

"Yes."

"You wish to leave today."

Another nod. "Yes sir."

Keller's eyes flashed over to Katty, now with two guns at her hips and her legs bowlegged, walked old west style as Will laughed at her antics. Keller looked back at Simmons, who dragged his eyes off of the joking blonde girl.

"It's an odd thing, isn't it?" said Keller finally, his voice quiet and his eyes guarded but knowing. "How such strong dislike can give way to something else entirely."

Simmons just looked at him, his face equally guarded. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean, sir."

Keller smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "You're a good man, Simmons."

"If I'm a good man, why aren't I with them?" he called seconds later as Keller walked away, jerking his head to the bots and military suiting up to go to war. Keller didn't respond.

"Sir?"

Someone tapped his shoulder and he looked around to see a young man in camo.

"I'm supposed to take you to the airport, sir."

Simmons nodded sarcastically. "Of course you are."

The man led him to a car and, just before getting in, Simmons glanced up one more time.

Katty was looking right at him, her face split into a wide and beaming smile, the sun hitting behind her just right, making her hair glow. Simmons gave her a smirk and a two fingered salute and then disappeared inside the car and began hitting his head repeatedly against the seat in front of him.

"Sir?" asked the soldier as he revved up the car. "Are you alright?"

"Of course," he spat sarcastically. "Nothing to be upset about, is there? I just lost my job and everything else important in my life in the space of a month and then the most infuriating girl I ever _met_ turns out to be the most fascinating girl I'll ever _meet_ and now I'll never see her again, what's wrong with that? Nothing! There's nothing wrong with that!"

He resumed banging his head against the seat. The soldier, worried for his passenger's sanity and his own safety, stepped on the gas and high-tailed it out of there.

Simmons may not have known it, but Katty certainly did; they would not see each other again for two years.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Your Worst is the Best" by I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness

A/N: It's been a few days, sorry! But there's lotsa action and tension and awkward moments in the next chapter, so that'll be fun. I'll upload that soon.

Love,

Sarah


	16. Boom Boom, Baby

_**I'm Eighteen, Officer, I Swear

* * *

**_

_Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing_  
_ Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?_  
_ Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see_  
_ Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?_  
_ Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing_  
_ Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure?_

_ Alright, so you think you're ready?_  
_ Ok, then you say this with me_  
_ Go!_  
_ We were born for this_

**Chapter Sixteen: Boom Boom, Baby**

Secretary Keller wasn't on the plane with us, but he was giving us our orders from the ground, his face projected onto a screen as we, the soldiers and the bots alike, crowded around him. There weren't many of us- maybe fifteen humans, plus the 'bots, and we were all suited up, all the weaponry either on our back, on a table, or, in the bot's case, in out bodies.

I was nervous and grew even more so whilst listening to Keller. But I'd never been more proud of anything in my life- I was a part of something so much bigger than me. I was a soldier for a nation I loved more than my own life. There was no higher honor than that.

"The terrorists are in Iceland," he said, "and all of our intel indicates that they have a nuclear weapon."

"Well, shit," I said, conversationally, and Lennox glanced at me.

"How you deal with the situation," Keller continued, an implicit trust in his voice and his bright blue eyes, "is completely up to you. But, on a more personal note, I feel that you need to know that NEST was formed without the authority of the president. Now that he is aware of your existence," he nodded around at all of us, his face severe, "he is not happy about it. One mistake… and everything is done. You understand?"

"Yes, sir," said Lennox, the unofficial leader of the humans, as Prime nodded gravely. Keller sighed.

"No one could doubt your skill or judgment in a time of crisis," he said. "This is not a team formed for the rigidity of plans or authority. This is a team formed for its skill in improvisation, for thinking on its feet, for getting the job done, no matter what the cost." He glanced up at me.

"Gentlemen- lady- get the job _done_. No matter what the cost. Good luck."

The screen went black. I exchanged a glance with Jazz, who looked very, very excited.

I kind of felt like I wanted to throw up.

Everyone here was battle worn. They knew what to do when explosions racked the earth and when bullets sang through the air. They were experienced. Calm. Composed.

I was just a teenager who flailed when I was excited and snorted when I laughed and drank too much coffee and had a thing for ex-government agents and married men and liked listening to loud music whose best friend happened to be a giant robot from outer space.

"You aright, Kat?" murmured Lennox. I let my head fall against the wall of the plane with a dull 'thunk'.

"What 'm I _doin'_ here, Will?"

He leaned forward, brows furrowing, and looked me in the eye. "What?"

I sighed, gesturing around the plane, at all the military men, laughing and talking easily as though we were flying to a party instead of to war, and at the Bots, who were talking in Cybertonian, not worried at all.

"I'm just… a kid, William. And, I mean, while I love the action and the excitement and… all of it, I guess, I don't know… how to deal with everything."

He grasped my chin, looking right at me, his eyes calm and friendly and comforting. "Katty, what you're feeling is completely normal. Everyone here is worried, or nervous. We all know that we might not all make it home." A grin spread across his ridiculously gorgeous face and the urge to flail rose up in my stomach. "We're just better at hiding it. It'll get easier, kiddo. Don't worry about being afraid."

He was still holding my chin, squishing my cheeks up and puffing out my lips. He laughed at me.

"You look like a pufferfish."

There were loud thuds and then Jazz was standing next to Will in his bipedal form. His optics were twinkling, his hands on his metal hips as he grinned down at us.

"I tell 'er that ev'ry day, Cap'n."

I twisted gently out of Will's grasp before sticking my tongue out at the cackling Jazz. "Shut up, tinny."

"Like I said, tiny, unless you're gonna do somethin' interestin' with that tongue-" He sat down with a 'thud' that shook the plane and crossed his legs.

" 'Tiny'?" asked Will, laughing. " 'Tinny'?"

"Oh, just wait till you hear about 'Humphrey' and 'Bon QuiQui'," I said, grinning despite the fear that was still wrapping around my stomach. Will had just taken a swig of water and now choked, his face red and his eyes watering as he tried to hold in his laughter, his cheeks puffed out from the water. Jazz stared at him in alarm as I cackled triumphantly.

"Oh, who's the pufferfish now?"

He swallowed and collapsed in hysterical laughter.

000

We stayed at a bunker that night after a meeting with Icelandic Homeland Security, who explained the situation to us.

The terrorists were radical environmentalists who were planning, according to intel, to blow up a steel factory in the middle of the workday tomorrow, when business would be thriving and when the factory would be cram-packed with innocent people.

Lennox, who was the commanding officer now, told us we had three hours.

Then the shit would hit the fan.

I nodded and headed to go find a place to sleep but Lennox grabbed my arm, shaking his head.

"You, Epps and the robots are staying with me," he said, his eyebrows raising. I just looked at him.

"Why?"

He grinned. "Cause we gotta come up with a method of attack, and after hearing about some of the plans you've come up with, I think you'll come in handy."

We, Lennox, Epps, the bots, me, and an Icelander who was a strategic genius, gathered around a table stacked with blue prints of the factory and the terrorists' hide-out.

And we began plotting. We tossed around ideas, plan after plan, of how to lure the terrorists out. How to lure them out, how to get our hands on the nuke, how to do this thing without people dying.

I simply sat and stared at the blueprints, thoughts whirling across my mind, half-formulated plans that I didn't even mention aloud as the others talked.

There had to be a way. There was always a way.

But if two soldiers, one genius strategist, and five ancient aliens couldn't find it, why in the world would one teenager be able to?

I stared, very hard, at the blueprints for the safehouse.

"Do you have any info on the terrorists? On _them_, individually?" I asked suddenly, looking up. Everyone stopped talking and looked to me.

The Icelander pushed a folder over to me and I began scanning it furiously before looking up at all of them, their faces expectant.

"I have an idea to get them out of the house," I said, my eyes wide. "All of them, 'cause even if they go to check something out, they'll leave guards."

"Let's hear it," rumbled Ironhide. I hesitated.

"It's… it's pretty out there. And really risky. But…. but it just might work."

000

Three hours later and I was in Jazz with five other soldiers as we zoomed to the terrorists' base. My heart was pounding and my fingers were shaking as I inserted the ear-piece into my ear.

"_Katty_," I heard Lennox's voice. "_Do you read_?"

"Yep. My mother taught me."

"_You guys good to go_?"

I looked around at all of the soldiers, who nodded. "Yep."

"_Do your thing, sweep the place for any weapons, and get any terrorists back to base. If possible, don't kill anyone_."

"No promises," I said, with a grin sweeping across my face. I heard him chuckle.

"_Are __**you**__ alright_?"

"I'm startin' to get excited."

"_Alright. Just play your part 'n play it well, alright, Katty? I'll see ya on the other side. Over."_

I took a deep breath. One of the soldiers leaned forward and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Do you remember me?" he asked, a grin on his face. He was pretty cute, I thought, with sparkling green eyes and short black hair that stuck up in every direction. He looked like he might have some Native American in him. My brow furrowed.

"You do look pretty familiar…"

His grin widened. "I saved your life in Mission City."

The memory hit me like a ton of bricks and I turned around as much as I could in my seat with my jaw dropped.

"That was you? Are you okay? What happened to you? Is your back healed?"

There was a tug at my seatbelt, Jazz's way of telling me he was annoyed. I tugged it back, glaring at the dashboard, and then it tightened all the way, slamming me back against the seat.

"Okay, Jazz, that's just unnecessary."

The engine growled and I rolled my eyes before turning back to the laughing and attractive soldier.

"Anyway, what's your name?"

"Mitch," he replied. "Mitch Longshadow."

So he _was_ Native American.

I grinned and stuck a hand out to him that he shook, laughing.

"Katty Sherman."

"Stop flirting, humans," growled Jazz. "We're here."

000

A man in his fifties, named Rodney Sibjorn, answered the door when the bell rang, leaving the younger men around the table. Everyone else was already gone to the factory.

He opened the door and his jaw dropped and he blinked several times, his mind completely blank.

A very pretty blonde girl smiled up at him sweetly, but he was staring at the plunging neckline of her shirt and her legs under the very short skirt and the boots that came up to her knees.

"Who is it?" called one of the younger men in Icelandic.

"Uh…"

"I'm Adrianna," said the girl with a voice that had to be what sex would sound like if it had a voice, a little deeper than most women's, a little raspy, very sexy and with an American accent. A smirk curved the girl's face. "You're Rodney, right? It's your birthday today, isn't it?"

The man nodded, still speechless, and the girl stepped forward, her smirk growing, looking up at him from underneath long, thick lashes.

"Your brother told me how you like… how you like girls like me."

He just nodded, unable to tear his eyes off her. Her smirk grew into a grin and she put a tiny hand with a Celtic ring on her middle finger onto his chest before pressing herself up against him, bringing her lips up to his ear.

"Happy birthday, Rodney." Her lips brushed his skin and set it on fire.

She backed away suddenly, walking around him towards the rest of the men with a sway in her hips that would make a monk think unholy thoughts. And Rodney Sibjorn was no monk. He didn't even think about how many baby seals must have been killed for all the oil in the make-up she was wearing, or how much carbon it took to make those leather boots. He wasn't really thinking at all.

"Are these your friends?" she asked smoothly as she entered the next room. Rodney followed her, unable to keep his eyes off of her.

"Yeah," he said, as the other men's jaws dropped and they stared at her. She looked around at all of them before turning back to Rodney, a gleam in her bright blue eyes.

"I think you're the cutest," she purred, and the man's heart almost stopped. He had no idea that the purring female in front of his was restraining herself from cackling, or that she thought he looked like a panda bear on crack.

You almost had to feel sorry for him.

000

"How's it going?" asked one of the soldiers outside. The metal robot just stared through the walls of the house before shaking his head.

"She's layin' it on pretty thick," he said in his rumbling, mechanical voice.

Mitch shook his head, a grin on his face. "I almost feel sorry for that guy."

Jazz just grunted, watching the scene play out through the wall.

000

"Who- who are you?" asked one of the terrorists, a young man in his twenties named Sigburn. The girl gave him a quick, flashing smile as she moved around the kitchen like she owned it, grabbing bottles and opening them and then setting them down in front of the terrorists, all of whom were only more than happy to drink the alcoholic beverages she was giving them.

"I'm Rodney's birthday present," she said. "But I don't mind being shared."

The men looked at Rodney, who was looking at 'Adrianna'. "_Det er bursdagen din_?" someone asked him in Icelandic. Rodney shrugged.

"_Jeg femtitre_," he replied, also in Icelandic.

000

"He's fifty-three," Jazz translated quickly. "Kat, say this: _Menn er som en god vin, får de bedre med aldermen_."

000

'Adrianna' repeated the words with a small smile on her face and the terrorists stared at her.

"It means 'men are like you are like a fine wine; they get better with age'," hissed Jazz in her ear. 'Adrianna' didn't blink.

"C'mon," she said to Rodney, trailing her hand across his chest, those eyes glinting up at him like pieces of the ocean trapped in her face. Her hand trailed down his arm, her fingers scratching him lightly, before taking hold of his hand gently and leading him down the hallway and into a bedroom.

The eco-terrorists all exchanged a glance and then took a communal swig of the beers she'd given them.

000

"Is she actually gonna sleep with him?" asked Mitch quietly.

"It wouldn't surprise me," Jazz said, his voice little more than a growl.

000

"What- what are you?" gasped Rodney in accented American as the girl straddled him. He blinked. Everything was beginning to go fuzzy. She grinned at him, leaning down and nipping his earlobe.

"I'm everything you ever dreamed of."

He passed out.

Katty waited a moment before climbing off of him, a disgusted look on her face as she pulled off the ridiculous shirt to reveal the plain black tank, pulling her hair back into a pony-tail as she walked out of the room. She reached down and pulled her gun out of her boot, holding it up to her chest as she peered around the kitchen wall to see the terrorists slumped over their beers.

"Got five terrorists," she muttered, knowing the ear-piece would pick it up. "Four in the kitchen, one in a bedroom."

The soldiers burst in, their weapons raised.

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

Mitch tossed Katty her pants and her boots, trying not to stare at her legs. She nodded at him and ducked into the bathroom to change quickly.

Jazz, outside, scanned the house again for any nuclear weapons, but found no sign of radiation.

" 'S not here," he rumbled. "It must already be at the factory. Kat, get out here. We got our orders, they've got theirs, but Prime said he wanted us where the action is. Let them take carra the terrorists, we gotta go, kiddo-"

He transformed back into a car as Katty strode out of the house, back in army clothes, the mini-skirt and hooker boots over her arm as she slid into the passenger seat, tossing the clothes in the back.

"They're calling for transport for the terrorists," she told Jazz. The engine revved and they were off.

000

"Was that really necessary back there?" growled Jazz's voice as we zoomed down the road to the factory. I looked up from the radio I was fiddling with to let Lennox know we were on the way and stared at the dash in front of me.

"Was _what_ necessary?"

"Actin' like that."

"… Jazz, I was saying I was a prostitute. They're not exactly sunflowers and rainbows."

"Ya seemed like you were getting' in to it."

Now I was getting a little annoyed. "What, you think I enjoyed hitting on a guy who's killed people? You think I don't know what Rodney Sibjurn's done?"

"You sure as hell _acted_ like ya enjoyed it, kid."

"It's called '_acting_' for a reason, Jazz. Meaning, it's not real. And anyway, why are you biting my head off for getting the job done?"

The engine growled and he sped up. I glared angrily at the dash, my mouth open slightly. "What is your _problem_, Jazz?"

He said nothing but his anger surrounded me. Shaking my head, more than a little pissed of myself, I folded my arms as I pressed a button on the radio.

"Lennox, this is Tiny. Over."

"_I read you, Tiny. What's the status? Over."_

"The bomb is at the factory. Repeat, the bomb is at the factory. Tiny and Tinny are in route. ETA is two minutes. Over."

"_Alright. Come in the back. We've located terrorists_-"

At that moment there was a burst of gunfire and what sounded like an explosion. I felt my stomach go cold.

"Will?"

There was a silence.

"William!"

_Think, Katty. He's not dead; he's in the second movie._

Jazz sped up. A cough came over the earpiece. I was clutching the 'ohshit' handle so tightly my knuckles cracked.

"_It's not good, Kat." _He coughed.

"We'll be there in less than a minute, Lennox," said Jazz suddenly. "Hang in there."

The line went dead. I stared up in horror.

Jazz sped up even more.

000

The factory loomed ahead. As soon as we reached it Jazz skidded to a stop and I leapt out of it, gun at the ready, as Jazz transformed in two seconds.

"There's the door," I said, running for it. The sounds of gunfire echoed around from inside the building. Jazz ran after me, very quiet for someone who weighed several tons.

"Tinny, what's going on in there?" I asked him, our argument not forgotten, but pushed aside in lieu of more important things. Jazz stared at the wall.

"The nuke's on th' other side of th' room," he said. "Bee's tryin' ta get t' it- but the terrorists keep blockin' 'im- our people are tryin' to cover 'im- and- no!"

There was a boom that shook the building.

"What is it?"

" 'Hide's down," he said through gritted metal jaws.

"Give me the bigger gun."

He held out his arm and the gun slid out of it. I flicked the safety on on the handheld and slid it down the front of my pants before vigorously cocking the machine gun. I felt cold.

_Ironhide…._

"Tell me when, tinny."

Five seconds passed with Jazz staring at the wall, me staring at him.

Ten seconds.

"Now!" he shouted, before raising his arms, cannons whirring. The walls buckled under one shot and he scooped me up, running in amid fresh screams. The factory workers were huddled against the sides of the building and in the middle was a full on shoot-out. Jazz's cannons didn't stop firing and I took aim at a man who had his sights trained on Lennox.

I pulled the trigger, there was a bang, and he fell to the ground.

I leapt out of Jazz's hand, rolling when I hit the ground, ducking as gunfire whizzed over my head.

"Cover Bee!" Lennox shouted as bullets sailed through the air. Jazz ran, ducking and rolling, shooting at the humans. I ran to Lennox, who looked at me with his brow furrowed. He stared at me like he'd never seen anything quite like me.

I probably had something on my face.

" 'Y came in the nick of time-"

There was another explosion and he threw himself on top of me. I looked up from underneath him and saw another terrorist taking aim at us-

I grabbed the pistol that was tucked in the back of Lennox's pants and shot the man with my arm wrapped around Will's waist. Will lifted his head up, looking over as the man fell to the ground before looking back at me.

"Nice."

"Well, I try."

There was a sudden whine of noise and all the blood drained from Lennox's face.

"What the hell was that?" he shouted. There was a moment of very, very intense silence in which my heart pounded so hard I thought it would pound right out of my body.

"He did it!" said Jazz, his voice relieved. "Bee disabled the bomb!"

All the tension went out of my body and I let my head fall back against the concrete. Will climbed off of me, offering me a hand and pulling me to my feet.

The soldiers had the terrorists surrounded, their guns aimed, their faces hard. Ratchet carried Ironhide out of the factory through the convenient hole Jazz had made in the wall.

"Is anyone hurt?" I called to the factory workers. They said nothing and I scanned all of them for injuries. Some of them were bruised and all of them were filthy, but there didn't look to be any threatening injuries.

I turned to the terrorists, surrounded by soldiers and with Prime and Jazz towering over them. I made my way over, my entire body shaking. My shoulder was stinging and I looked down to see blood. It looked like a bullet had grazed my shoulder. It hurt, but I'd be fine.

Bumblebee carried the now-harmless bomb out of the factory, and I patted his foot as he passed me. He gave a burst of intense action music that sounded like it may have been from Pirates of the Caribbean, making me laugh before I reached the terrorists and soldiers. Prime gave off a pulse that yanked the terrorists' weapons away, though the soldiers kept hold of theirs. The terrorists glared around at all of us.

"Icelandic authorities are on their way to arrest you," said Lennox loudly, with Prime translating, "and they are also going to your safe-house."

There was a very ugly look on Epp's face as he glared down the gun at them.

I clutched my shoulder, blood running down my arm, and let the grin slide over my face.

We were all alive. We were all in one piece.

NEST would survive.

**TBC...

* * *

**

"Born For This," by Paramore.

A/N: Um... hi? I missed you guys?

Honestly, I have no excuse for my absence except that this last year has been absolutely insane and very, very busy. Everything kind of froze over the school year because of the amount of work I've had, and now it's summer and I have a job, which is nice for the money, but also sucks. I'm going to get started on ROTF as soon as I can find it on line and then this story I'll finish up sporadically after the last installment. Hope that makes sense. I've missed you guys!

Oh, and cause I promised her I would. The girl I'm writing this for, Katty Noir, is writing a story about _Supernatural, _with, of course, an OC. I've read the first few chapters and it's really good, so go check it out as she uploads! I think she's got the first chapter up and that's it.

I LOVE ALL YOU PEOPLE SO MUCH!

Sarah


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